Roadblocks or Stepping Stones


Last weekend I was able to spend a few days in the High Uintahs with my son Mike. In addition to being able to enjoy beautiful scenery, we also were enjoying each other’s company. This year Mike is a senior in high school so the topic of conversation was frequently about his plans in the future. Because Mike is so talented and ambitious in so many ways, there are a lot of opportunities available for him. While we were discussing the different options he had, it occurred to me that sometimes you don’t know which option is the best until you’ve tried more than one.
 
For the sake of illustration, let’s use the analogy of a bakery. You walk into a bakery knowing that you really like red velvet cupcakes. You love the rich, smooth cream cheese frosting that swirls delicately on top of the light and moist red velvet cake. The cupcakes are so large that it can’t be finished in one sitting, so you have enough to share with someone else or to save for later. As you walk up to the counter, you see that there are many other things in the case that look just as tantalizing. The seven layer chocolate cake with raspberry syrup looks amazing; the brownies smothered with nuts, caramel, coconut and chocolate chips seems to be calling out your name. Oh little fruit tart, your glistening berries, kiwi and peaches look like a sweet summer treat. Now you have a choice: do you go with the red velvet cupcake or do you try one of these other treats? You’ve never had anything other than the cupcake, so how would you know if the other treats will be good? If you choose something else, then you will be able to experience it and if you like it, you have something else that you can enjoy and if you don’t, then you know that red velvet cupcakes are still your favorite.
 
Everyone has promptings and urges to develop certain talents, and sometimes what you try is successful and sometimes it isn’t. The key to being successful is to not look at the mistakes as being failures but rather as an information gathering. When you try something that is less than successful, it gives you some valuable information such as:
 

  1. That not being the right way to go.
  2. You have a lot of data to help you along the next time you try.

 
The most important thing to remember in trying to find your path is to not give up and stop because of negative thoughts. There are many times that someone is headed in the right direction but because of self- doubt and fear of failure, they give up. It’s okay to make mistakes as long as you learn from them and keep moving on.
 
I once hiked on an unfamiliar trail. I was ahead of everyone when I came to a fork in the trail. The trail on the right cut straight across the hillside. The trail on the left sloped gently downhill. I knew that we needed to head downhill, but the trial on the right seemed larger and better maintained. I took the trail on the left and after about 5 minutes, the trail became more faint and soon I was in the middle of the forest on a slippery slope. I turned around and hurried back to the fork in the trail to meet up with the rest of my hiking party. While everyone else was wondering which trail they should take, I could say with a certainty that it wasn’t the one on the left. It was my personal experience with the trail on the left that saved the rest of the party some time and possibly injury.
 
As you go through your life trying to figure what your passion is and what you want to do, it’s good to try a variety of different things and approaches. It is through these learning experiences that will make for success in the future. Don’t be discouraged by the things that aren’t successful, use those experiences to learn how to succeed in what you are trying to do. As Brian Tracy (who specializes in helping individuals and organizations reach their full potential) says,
 
“Between you and every goal that you wish to achieve, there is a series of obstacles, and the bigger the goal, the bigger the obstacles. Your decision to be, have and do something out of the ordinary entails facing difficulties and challenges that are out of the ordinary as well. Sometimes your greatest asset is simply your ability to stay with it longer than anyone else.”
 
Don’t let a setback hold you back. Instead of it being a roadblock, consider it just a stepping stone to get to where you want to be.
 

John Boyd

John Boyd is the author of The Illustrated Guide to Selling You. He’s a frequent speaker and coach on the subjects of life purpose, job search, goal achievement, positive psychology, well-being, communication, and healthy relationships.  His book is endorsed by Steven Covey, Brian Tracy, and Denis Waitley, and can be found at Amazon.com as well as in Barnes and Noble stores nationwide.”  Learn more about John at www.mjohnboyd.com.  He’d love to hear from you at john@dyalogic.com.