Singers are accustomed to travel and to immersing themselves in strange situations—we usually adapt pretty quickly and well. And we are appreciative of your support and generosity, as are the opera companies who hire us and recruit hosts. It is enormously expensive to fly in and house a cast for several weeks at a time, so by providing housing, hosts are making a tremendous and important contribution to the art form and their local company.
Just as visiting singers are ambassadors for their art and the opera company they’re working for, local hosts are ambassadors for their city and their company. Singers talk and they travel a lot! It’s a great thing to have your hometown opera company be famous as a preferred place to work—and having wonderful homestays is a big contributor to that reputation. So if you find yourself hosting singers, here’s how to be a great host.
Don’t be shy about establishing your house rules. Your singer guests want to know what they can and can’t do, where things are, how to work the appliances, when the quiet hours are, and where they can or can’t park. It will make them feel more comfortable, not less, to know how your household is run. But do please remember that these are adults. They should not have to be accountable to you for their comings and goings—if you need a house guest to report to you, or if you have a household curfew which includes guests, you probably should not offer to host. And if you require house guests who are willing to adhere strictly to your lifestyle and beliefs—for example, dietary restrictions such as vegan, gluten free, or kosher; religious or political beliefs; limited use of phone, Internet or electricity; etc.—for the sake of your own comfort as well as your guest’s, please make the specifics known to the opera company before you offer to host.
Realize that singers may be arriving on the heels of another gig and a long day of travel. They may need to drop their things and go directly to a rehearsal or bed. They will certainly want to chat with you and get to know you, but please give them a chance to get rested and refreshed first!
Singers are, in every way that counts, average people with the same concerns and needs the average person has. But because of the nature of their work, they do have some special needs. They usually aren’t anything bizarre, but if you know about them in advance, it won’t be a surprise or inconvenience.
Many singers have dietary restrictions. It’s generous and usually very much appreciated if you offer to cook for them, but please don’t be offended if they say no or only partake in a limited fashion. It’s very helpful if you clear out a shelf in the fridge and pantry for your guests’ personal food and offer kitchen access.
Singers tend also to be unusually sensitive to allergens and scents. Animal dander, dust mites, mold, pollen, and other allergens can cause strong reactions in singers which prevent them from being able to do their jobs. Usually your singer guest will know how to handle this, but realize that if they bring their own linens or decline to pet little Fluffy, they aren’t being snobbish—they are just protecting their health! Strong scents can actually make some singers sick—and some may even develop swollen lymph nodes or experience allergic reactions and migraines. Please don’t place potpourri or other scented products in a singer’s room; don’t spray scented air freshener or carpet cleaner unless you know it doesn’t bother them. If you like perfume or scented aftershave, please be judicious in your use of it around singers.
And please be honest with the opera company about smoking habits in your home. Many singers avoid being in the presence of smoke, and even if smoking is not taking place inside the home, the odor clings to hair and clothing and can be disturbing. Some singers are smokers themselves or are not bothered by the scent, but many are extremely sensitive. Usually any issues are worked out between the singers and the opera companies before they arrive, but it will help if you let the company know in advance your policy on smoking in the home.
As you can see, wellness is a big issue for singers. Because something as simple as a common cold can prevent singers from being able to do their jobs, they tend to be a little paranoid about being around sick people. If you’re coughing and sneezing, they will want to stay far away from you and anything you’ve touched—they may even want to move out for a few days until you’re feeling better. Please don’t take it personally! Singers have to be very careful about their physical and vocal health.
Heating and air conditioning can also be big issues. Some singers are sensitive to the mold and allergens in air conditioning and may ask to be housed in a place that doesn’t have AC. Adequate heating and cooling is also important to a singer’s health. A colleague told me a horror story about a homestay in a basement in Alaska, where the hosts refused to provide additional blankets or a space heater—they would not even allow the singer to purchase and run a space heater with her own money! Not only was she miserable the entire time she was there but she got a cold, which certainly impacted her ability to do her job.
If you accept a singer as a house guest, they are just that—guests. You should not ask them to run errands or do chores for you unless this is a previously established agreement (in writing!) with the opera company and the singer knows about it and has agreed prior to arrival. Sure, you can ask your guest to empty the dishwasher, pick something up at the store if they’re already going, or water the plants if you go out of town. You might even find them willing to feed and care for your pets. But mowing the lawn? Running you to the airport at 6 a.m.? Babysitting your kids or elderly relatives while you have a date night? Out of line.
Equally out of line is expecting your guest to perform for you and your friends. Please do not ask a singer to belt out a few lines in your living room, even informally. If you want to throw a party and ask the singer to perform, you should ask if they have any interest in doing so, and you should most certainly offer to pay their going rate (and be sure to ask what that is to avoid unpleasant surprises). The singer who is staying with you is a professional who gets paid for their work and should not be expected to produce on demand. It makes most singers very uncomfortable and, frankly, it’s rude. Would you ask a doctor friend to diagnose your guests at a party, or an accountant to do a little bit of your taxes? It’s no different asking a singer to bust out an aria.
There certainly have been circumstances when singers are comfortable with their hosts and offer such services. Once, my generous, laid-back hosts had a beautiful grand piano, and some of my colleagues and I offered to sing at an intimate dinner party for them. At a recent homestay, my hosts’ adorable grandchildren were very interested in “the opera singer,” so I arranged to teach them “Brother, Come and Dance with Me” from Hansel and Gretel and invited them to watch me put on my stage makeup. During another recent homestay, my hosts went out of town for an extended period of time and asked if I would do some minor yard work (watering plants, deadheading plants, putting out slug bait); my hostess and I shared love for gardening, and I was happy to be able to do this for her. But in all of these examples, it was never assumed that I would do these things—they arose out of the friendship we had established.
The bottom line is that your singer guests are in town to do a specific job and they need their privacy and their down time. And singers sometimes seem to have a lot of down time between rehearsals. It may appear to the lay person that they aren’t doing much. But your guests are not lazing around. They are busy attending to daily tasks and business errands, studying for their next gig, working out, corresponding with friends and family, or just resting up. Some even have day jobs that they attend to on the road!
Singing is a very taxing physical activity and rehearsals can be very tiring, both physically and mentally. If your guests aren’t very chatty or seem to hang out in their rooms a lot, they are not necessarily being antisocial. They are probably protecting and resting their voices and taking care of themselves so they can do their jobs. For this reason, it is absolutely vital that singers have privacy on demand. This doesn’t mean that you should never talk to them or ask them to do anything; just be aware that your singer guests may visit with you a while when they get home but decline to sit up late chatting, or may choose to spend some days holed up in their rooms.
Don’t be shy about telling the opera company what kind of guests you prefer to have and how your household works. That alone will help them match you with a personality you’re sure to enjoy having as a long-term guest.
Housing Musts
It may seem a little churlish to make requests of hosts as to what kind of housing they need to provide for their singer guests. After all, you are already doing the company and the singer a big favor! But look at it this way: knowing what your guests’ basic needs are will make things run smoothly for everybody—and if you are the type who enjoys extending hospitality, you will of course want to make your guests comfortable. So here’s a list of things that singers require . . . as well as a list of things that are simply nice to have.
Requirements
• A private, enclosed adult bedroom which no one enters without permission from the guest. No adult should be expected to share a room, much less a bed (it has happened!) with someone who is not their significant other. Adults should not be housed in kiddie rooms, especially if the beds are child sized.
• Privacy on demand. As previously noted, singers need their personal space in order to be able to do their jobs well.
• Clean, scent-free surroundings.
• Regular and reliable Internet access. Not having wireless Internet these days is very much akin to not having phone service. And while it’s more important to some people than to others, anyone who travels as much as singers do needs to keep in touch via e-mail and social networking sites. Also, many singers have day jobs which require Internet access.
• Kitchen access and food storage area. It’s very expensive (and unhealthy!) to eat out all the time. Your guests need a shelf in the pantry and fridge to store food and they need to be welcome in the kitchen. Bonus: many singers are excellent cooks and love to show off their repertoire—maybe they’ll cook a gourmet meal for you!
• Laundry facilities.
• A clean home in which everything is in working order (bathroom, kitchen, laundry facilities).
Nice Comforts
• Reading lamp, trash can, and nightstand close to bed.
• Private bathroom (for some singers, this is a requirement).
• Cable TV (especially in the bedroom).
• Maps and information about local areas of interest and basics.
Extra-Generous
• Use of a car, bike, or other transportation.
All of this may seem like a tall order, especially if you’re volunteering your home. The key to a successful homestay is communication. Let the opera company know what you can and can’t provide and what you are and are not willing to do—and let them do the matching. Chances are you will reap the benefits of having an interesting artistic personality visit with you, and one hopes the opera company will also show appreciation with comps or invitations to special events. And who knows? You may even make a colorful new friend for life!
