There’s a certain type of opera review that I like to refer to as the “coin toss review.” From the tone and content, it seems as if the newspaper’s sportswriter, business reporter, and humor columnist got together and flipped a coin to see who was going to have to go review the opera this time, since the arts writer was let go last year.
Invariably, the majority of column space is taken up by a recap of the plot cribbed from Wikipedia; a thorough mention of the costumes, set, and lighting as well as any local celebrity who happens to be taking a minor role; a generous nod to the conductor, orchestra, and chorus; and a couple of sentences dedicated to the two most prominent characters, mostly about their looks and acting. If the critic is feeling especially brave, there will be brief remarks about the actual singing.
So, the other night, I got to wondering what it would look like if sports were reported the same way some critics review opera. Here’s my take.
World Series Stages a Giant Royal Chestnut
—Cindy Sadler, ArtsBeat and Sports
In the world of baseball, the tried and true takes precedence over innovation, as witnessed on Tuesday night when the World Series once again presented one of the chestnuts of the game, the San Francisco Giants. This is the twentieth appearance of the Giants in the Series, which must represent some kind of record, but it’s what the well-entrenched baseball establishment seems to want.
General Manager Brian Sabean chose to shake it up a little this time by adding the lesser-known Kansas City Royals to the mix (with only three appearances, the Royals are hardly standard fare), with mixed results. I won’t be giving away any spoilers when I tell you that the Giants won, four games to three.
At the end of the regular baseball season, the three divisional winners and the wild card team from both the National and American Leagues went into a playoff, each playing two series to determine who wins the pennant. Traditionally, the winners are awarded a pennant to fly over the stadium. The champions from each league then square off in the World Series.
In the initial round of playoffs, aka the Division Series, the teams take turns performing at each others’ venues for the best of five games. The second round, or League Championship Series, continues in the same vein for best of seven. In both series, the higher-ranked team gets the home field advantage.
These playoffs climax with the World Series, in which the champions from each league play best-of-seven games with rules alternating between American and National Leagues, depending on which ballpark they are in.
The Royals had home team advantage in four out of seven games and offered a valiant effort but, alas, the more experienced Giants overpowered them.
The leagues cleverly snagged opera star Joyce DiDonato to lend some class and draw attention to the proceedings. DiDonato’s warm, liquid mezzo-soprano opened Game Seven with a riveting rendition of “The Star-Spangled Banner.” Clad in chic knee-high boots, black leggings, and a sporty jacket, DiDonato delivered the highlight of the evening with her trademark charm.
The conflict between the two teams was nicely echoed in the clashing colors of the uniforms. The Giants’ orange, black, and white foreshadowed their aggression toward the more stately, serene Royals in blue and white. The Kauffman Stadium lighting lit the area handsomely but was less effective in the ladies’ room, where the dimness of the florescent bulbs resulted in some garish makeup repairs which were, however, only minorly distracting from the game. Lou Seal, the Giants’ mascot, cavorted effectively to draw response from the crowd, while the Royals’ Sluggerrr mugged amusingly.
Bruce Bochy barked authoritatively at his players, spurring them to some of the best work we’ve seen from the Giants in some time, while Royals manager Ned Yost seemed off his form, resorting to shoulder rubs and aromatherapy instead of the traditional screaming.
As the starring pitchers, Madison Bumgarner and James Shields were both in good arm, whizzing balls over the plate with aplomb. The supporting players hit, caught, and ran bases with energy.
Baseball’s World Series, October 21–29, 2014, on Fox Television and ESPN Radio.
