I was in the airport last week and found the magazine Real Simple with twelve suggestions for how to be happy. I’ve found myself thinking about them over and over and thought you might find a use for them as well. The list was written by Monica Sheehan. The musings are my own.
Have a sense of wonder. Remember how you felt when you saw your first Der Rosenkavalier? Can you still feel that way when you hear music? Can you look at the world with new eyes every day and still be amazed? Re-cultivate the eyes of a child and you’ll discover a new world in your music and your life.
Stay inspired. What inspires you in your life and career? When is the last time you connected with your Higher Power? When is the last time you listened to singers who inspire you? When is the last time you connected with your mentor or other people who empower you?
Help others. There is real power in helping other people! Remember to sing for free now and then and spread the joy. You’ll be amazed how the joy of singing will come back to you again. Help a child learn something and see how that smile you are given lasts and lasts and lasts.
Do things you’re good at. It gets really exhausting being a singer and constantly being told what’s wrong with you! When’s the last time you did something you were really GREAT at just because you enjoyed it? Old repertoire? A recital of hits? How about non-musical activities? Make sure you keep these things in your life. Doing things your good at outside of music helps keep you balanced when someone in the business tells you bad news about your career potential.You can recall all the things you are good at. (No one can knock all your blocks down, because you have blocks they don’t even know about!)
Read books. New ideas keep you interesting as you are networking and making friends, they keep your operatic and song characters interesting, and they keep your life balanced! Feed your mind new ideas. Read for fun. Read for information. Stay sharp.
Limit television. You already know this, but it’s hard to do. TV is “there” in the hotel room and in your home; it’s easy, so you turn it on. But if you watch too much TV, there’s no time for any of the other things that really do make you happy! Advertising is geared to make you uncomfortable with what you have, how you look and who you are, so you’ll be motivated to spend money “fixing” what isn’t really broken. You don’t need that message in your life if you’re working on the happiness factor. Singers get so much criticism already! TV just piles it on.
Love your work. We all loved singing when we started, or we wouldn’t have gotten this far. But do you love it now? If not, what are you going to do about it? Maybe you love part of it, but you’ve gotten off track. Maybe you loved recitals or oratorio but are not finding joy in opera like you thought you would. Really think this through and make sure that you LOVE YOUR WORK! No one loves every aspect of their job [auditioning?!], but you should love your work most of the time or you should consider changes—minor or major.
Exercise. You know what exercise does for anyone’s happiness factor, so do it! As a singer, you have even more reason to exercise than others do. If you want to be happy in your career, you must exercise to increase your chances for being hired and being able to do what singers are required to do, onstage and off.
Face your fears. What is it that you aren’t doing because you are afraid? Write it down. Write down the worst thing that could happen if you did it, and then write down the best thing. Then grit your teeth and get it done. Either outcome…what an energy drain gone!
Believe in yourself. There are times when that’s all you’ll have. Know your mission in life, and hang onto it. Your mission may be redefined as you go along, but your belief in who you are should never waver. Hopefully, you’ve got friends and family who can remind you of who you are and what you are capable of when your own memory fails!
Stay close to friends and family. Singers can get very isolated because of traveling and the fact that their driven nature can be foreign to others. Don’t let this happen to you. Reach out constantly and stay connected. Nothing matters more than relationships.
Let your heart be your guide. Performers can get confused here. Sometimes we let ambition or other people, such as teachers or parents, be our guide. Spend time alone with yourself so you can hear what your heart is saying. Your heart (combined with at least some brain!) knows the way.
Adapted from “Be Happy” by Monica Sheehan, Real Simple Dec/Jan 2003 p. 224.
