I read my final graduate school rejection while wiping smushed banana off of a three year old’s chin.
Take the gut-wrenching intimacy of a breakup, stir in the shame of failing a major exam, top it off with the devastating realization that you might have just wasted years of your life (and a small fortune) and voilà! You’ve got the perfect emotional cocktail that is being rejected from every single graduate conservatory you applied to—except one.
“You’re meant to be in New York City!” my mom said, trying her best to comfort me over the phone. Even as I sat in the car, ugly crying outside the house where I’d just finished babysitting, I knew she was right. My gut was screaming that I was meant to be at Mannes School of Music in NYC. So, why did all the other rejections still sting so badly?
Rejection is a conniving middle school bully. It doesn’t just make a mockery of your deepest insecurities, it magnifies them. And like any good bully, rejection rarely works alone. Enter its sly accomplice: social media. While rejection stabs you with whispered lies about your talent and potential, social media twists the knife, death by a thousand “thrilled to announce” posts, competition wins and (what seem like) effortlessly flawless recordings. Together, this toxic duo convinces you that you’re the only one who feels this way, and worse, that you’ll never make it.
But here’s the thing about bullies: they only hold power if you let them. The key to reclaiming your strength is by recognizing that rejection is not a roadblock to vanquish, but an inevitable part of the journey. Especially in the arts. If you’re around long enough, you’ll see it happen to everyone—and I mean everyone. What separates those who “make it” from those who don’t isn’t talent. It’s resilience.
Advertisement
But resilience doesn’t mean pretending rejection doesn’t hurt. It does. I cried. I spent hours venting with my friends. I second-guessed my worth as a singer. But after a few days, I asked myself a different question: What do I want, and what do I have to do to make it happen within my control?
My answer taken straight from my March 2021 journal: I want to make the world a better place, a more compassionate place, a more peaceful place. Each day that I get to spend on earth living and breathing is a gift. I need to make better use of this gift.
A couple of months later, I was getting my keys to my first New York City apartment. I went out to celebrate with my sister Juliet and wound up in Times Square where I almost peed myself… Later that night, I created the TikTok account @got2gonyc and posted my first video.
Rejection pushed me to NYC. It granted me the opportunity to build something I never could have imagined. It redirected me toward the path I was meant to be on.
So, how do Divas handle rejection?
1. Feel the feelings—all of them.
Let yourself ugly cry. Talk to your support system. Journal. Eat a pint of Ben & Jerry’s. And most importantly, don’t push it down. The following steps are impossible unless you have honored your pain.
2. Look for the silver lining.
This is the hard part. Sometimes rejection happens for a beautiful reason that we aren’t able to see just yet. Other times, it’s a reflection of factors beyond your control. Either way, ask yourself: What can I learn from this?
Advertisement
Maybe it’s a redirection toward something better, or perhaps it’s a wake-up call that you were aiming for the wrong thing entirely. The silver lining might be as simple as realizing what doesn’t work so you can shift focus on what does. We have to always remember how much power us Divas hold over our journeys.
3. Trust that the universe has your back.
The more delusional you can be the better! I’ve witnessed firsthand how the energy you put out into the universe determines what comes back to you.
Rejection isn’t a closed door, but it might be a sign you’re knocking on the wrong one or at the wrong time. The path to success is rarely a straight line. Trust that this small detour might be leading you somewhere better than you could ever imagine.
4. Keep going.
This is the part where I am supposed to tell you that Oprah was fired from her first job, Walt Disney’s first several businesses failed and that Beethoveen’s music teacher told his parents he was “too stupid” to ever be a music composer. But honey, I’m a Diva, not a motivational speaker, so let me keep this real and personal:
If I had been accepted into any of those other schools, I might not have ended up in NYC. I would not have started Got2Go, and I definitely would not be writing this to you now.
Every “no” is carving out room for the right “yes.” And when you find your “yes,” I promise it will make all the rejections worth it.
Until then, keep knocking.
Your fellow Diva,
Teddy
