We have all been there. Mindlessly scrolling Instagram, when BAM, snuck between a restaurant review and a friend of a friend’s photo dump, there it is. An announcement. The kind that makes you squint at the screen and think, wait… them? The moment when a colleague lands a role, wins a competition, or hits a milestone you’ve been chasing— and before you can fully process it, that insidious little voice slithers in whispering “that should have been me.”
And if you are anything like me, that thought curdles almost instantly into guilt. Because you are a good person. You love your friends! You want to watch your colleagues succeed. But somewhere, deep down in the shadowy depths of your most insecure self, the stinging pit isn’t about them, it’s about you. A spotlight has just been cast on what you feel you’re lacking and most importantly, what you’re terrified might never come your way.
First, let’s get something straight: you’re not a bad person for feeling this way. You’re human. This business is brutal, and the path is anything but fair. Stunt casting is real. People get hired based on their looks, their social media following, or by lucking their way into the right conversation at exactly the right time. Nepotism and privilege swing doors wide open for some while others are left out in the cold knocking. We’re not going to pretend this is an even playing field.
But that’s not what we are discussing today.
What I’m talking about is that gnawing bitterness that festers from the fallacy of someone else’s success stealing from yours. The voice that tells you you’re falling behind, that you’ve missed your chance, or that someone else just took the last slice of pizza before you even had an opportunity to check out the pie. But here’s what we have to remember, divas: success is not finite. One person booking a gig does not mean there are inherently fewer jobs in the world for you. Your friend landing a major opportunity doesn’t make you any less talented. There is no cosmic scoreboard keeping track of who “deserves” what and there is certainly no expiration date on your ability to achieve beyond your wildest dreams.
Instead of looking at other people’s wins as obstacles in your own path, start by seeing them as lights on your runway (creds to my mom for this sparkly phrase—she’s good right?).
Someone just proved that what you want is possible. How exciting is that!
Your friend booking a YAP? That means programs are considering people in your circle. That colleague who suddenly seems to be performing everywhere? That means doors are opening.
And when it’s someone you love and admire who gets the opportunity first? Celebrate them! Hype them up! Because their success isn’t just proof that it can happen—it’s proof that it will happen for you, too. And guess what? Your friend climbing the ladder might just lead them to a position to pull you up next. Wouldn’t you rather be the person they want to recommend instead of the one secretly rooting for them to fail?
And heads up: it’s never as secret as you think. Envy’s veil is thin and ugly. It might take some time to shake, but once you set yourself free, your capacity to love and support others will multiply exponentially.
So, the next time you feel that pang of jealousy or frustration, take a deep breath and reframe. Because your time is coming, Diva! Stay ready, keep hustling, and let the runway lights of your peers guide you toward your own takeoff.
Trust me, it will be more beautiful than you can imagine.
Until next time! <3
Your fellow Diva, Teddy
