Tenor Richard Troxell works at balancing his 15-year career in opera and his role as a father. Troxell has two strapping boys at home—Wilder, 11, and Shane, 6—with wife Lisa Lovelace, a dancer and choreographer.
“Having children in this business is very different for men than it is for women, but it’s still a challenge,” says Troxell. “The issue becomes managing travel and time management.”
The Troxell family’s situation works out to their advantage: they frequently hit the road—or the airways—together.
“My wife and I aren’t really big planners—we kind of fly by the seat of our pants,” Troxell says, “but you know when it’s the right time in your life and when you’re ready to do it. However, I never would have done it before I was established because children become . . . the focus of your life for the rest of your life.”
Troxell says part of the key to his family’s success has been keeping his children involved.
“Once I had kids, I made every effort to make them a part of what I did,” says Troxell, who once rehearsed Handel’s Messiah with a 4-month-old Wilder in his arms. “Having children doesn’t mean you have to shut down your life or abandon your creativity. The important thing is to include them—not exclude them—and put plenty of time aside for them. I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world. Even through hectic schedules and bad reviews, the kids keep me completely balanced.”
Not all opera parents are well-established in their careers, however. Take up-and-coming tenor Jeffrey Halili, 30, who will make his New York City Opera debut as Bardolfo in the revival of Falstaff this month.
“Being an up-and-comer, you’re still in the process of auditioning and lining up your engagements,” Halili says. “Having a baby early was a kind of mixed blessing. It never would have happened had I been working all the time my first year out. In hindsight, having a family has given me some of the best times of my life.”
Halili’s daughter, Jessica, was born just as he was completing his work with the prestigious America Vocal Academy and Glimmerglass Opera’s Young Artist Program.
“As a singer especially, if you don’t have things like family or faith in your life, you’re sort of [drifting] in the wind,” Halili says. “You probably won’t have as good a center, you won’t be singing at your best, and you might not be able to fully enjoy as long and lasting a career.”
Halili and his wife, Jennifer, who also is a vocalist, weighed the pros and cons of what having children would mean early in their respective careers.
“By the time we felt established, we could have been much older, where health becomes more of a factor,” says Halili. “. . . I do what I need to do to fulfill my role as both a singer and a family man.”
Philip Webb is another tenor who maintains a successful stage career while playing the role of dad. A late bloomer in opera, Webb already had children when he began his career.
“Beginning my career later was hard in that most other singers go the regular route and jump into Young Artist Programs,” Webb says. “I really couldn’t do that with two kids and no conservatory background, so I had to start from the bottom and work my way up.”
Webb is the father of Daniel, 20, and Katie, 19. He and his wife received a surprise package later in Webb’s career with the arrival of David, now age 9.
Webb began as a church minister before launching his professional career in opera in 1994 with the encouragement of renowned bass Giorgio Tozzi. Finding the role of opera star and dad a challenge to maintain, Webb and his wife opted to home school their children and travel together when able.
“Travel can be a challenge,” Webb says. “Some places are more helpful than others, and it can get expensive, with airfare and housing—but you try to do the best you can and keep it together as a family. I never wanted to be the kind of dad who wasn’t around for his kids.”
Webb notes that several well-established vocalists who do not have children suffer from loneliness and only focus on their lives and careers in the present rather than the future.
“In opera, we live and work in a very made-up world,” Webb says. “Your kids remind you [of] who you are. When my career is over, I’m still a father and husband, regardless of how successful I’ve been.”
