When I began setting exercise goals a few months ago, a positive change began in my life. I loved the way I felt in both mind and body as I began a conscious effort to exercise at least three times a week. I found an exercise routine that I looked forward to and saw and felt results with. The simple goals of keeping a food diary and limiting my screen time to equal my time spent exercising each day were also helpful. In the first two months, I lost 10 pounds and an inch from my waist.
To give you some background, my average day during the first two months of my new exercise regimen was very full. I was like one of those circus “plate balancing” contortionists. Each of the responsibilities in my life was a plate balanced above me on the top of a tall stick. The first plate, my family, is more like a serving dish for a Thanksgiving turkey. Being a wife and mother,
coiffeuse, chauffeuse, classroom volunteer, laundress, dishwasher, personal secretary, buddy, story reader, cuddler, etc., is more than a full-time job.
The next plate to balance was singing. I had several back-to-back singing engagements during this time. I did a recital with my group the Bella Trio, the Utah premiere of a song cycle called “Mary Keeps All These Things,” Berlioz’ Romeo et Juliet with the Utah Symphony, and an opera gala—and all but one of these were in the span of just two weeks.
The next plate was staying faithful to attending at least three Jazzercise classes a week and watching my food intake. This was no small feat. Usually when I have a gig coming up, my energies outside of rehearsal are focused mainly on staying rested and healthy. I need more sleep and prioritized practice time to prepare musically and physically, and other things in my life take the back seat. But I couldn’t let exercise drop from my routine this time because I had to be accountable to CS readers. I learned as I maintained my exercise schedule that I needed exercise as much as I needed rest and food to keep me well for singing. Exercise energized me and helped me stay sane during a stressful time.
I managed to keep all of these “plates” spinning above me without any crashing and breaking. Then I added one more plate to the balancing act when I discovered in November that I am expecting baby number three. That’s when things started to get a little wobbly for me. Before I knew it, one of my “plates”—the exercise “plate”—came crashing to the ground.
Part of the planning for this pregnancy included going off of medication I take for rheumatoid arthritis weeks before conception. This was a huge sacrifice and a leap of faith. In both of my previous pregnancies, I was blessed to go into remission from RA during the pregnancy. With my first child, the remission happened in the first few weeks, and I felt great the whole nine months. With my second child, the remission took place at the end of the second trimester (around six months). It was a difficult first six months, especially since I also had a child to care for.
So far, I am 13 weeks along and I have not had a remission from the symptoms this time. What that means is that on the worst days I can barely hobble around my house or brush my own hair, let alone kick box and dance for an hour at a time. On my best days, I still have to pace myself and be gentle on my joints in order to get through each day. So, I have had to modify my exercise regimen from Jazzercise to water aerobics. I’ve also had to be kinder to myself and listen to my body more.
It’s hard to not be at least a little bitter about the loss of one’s physical capabilities. I admit that bitterness and despair have both crept in occasionally. I know what I am going through is only temporary. Still, having to let go of something that I enjoyed and that empowered me was a real loss. My pride was a little bruised when I told Julie, my Jazzercise instructor, that I couldn’t attend her classes for a time due to my health. And joining a water aerobics class of mainly senior citizens squashed my pride further.
Water aerobics has been positive, though. I have seen the benefits of trying to stay active and doing a workout that is low impact on my joints. On the days when I am stiff and sore, getting into the pool and exercising increases my mobility and decreases my pain. I also feel more positive mentally. Some days, though, the obstacle of getting out the door, getting my kids dropped off to school and the rec center daycare, and changing into a swimming suit all in time for the class is too formidable. I am treating myself kindly on this point by not getting mad or frustrated when I can’t make it to class, and I just plan to go again as soon as I can.
I have had to modify my fitness goals to fit the changes in my body. I am still trying to work out three times a week and I usually get there twice a week. I am not trying to lose weight, for obvious reasons, but I am trying to stave off unnecessary weight gain through exercise and staying away from sugar.
Weight gain is one of the things constantly in the back of my mind. I gained 40 lbs. with each of my other pregnancies, which is more than the average woman gains. Add to that the fact that I still had 10 lbs. to lose in order to reach my goal weight at the time of conception and that I have had to take a low dose of prednisone (which can cause weight gain), and you see the potential problems. At least I know that once I return to full health and function again, I will be able to return to a routine that I enjoy and hopefully lose whatever weight I do gain. I also know that any self-sacrifice is worth it to me in order to bring my child into the world.
I am learning that there will always be obstacles in trying to stay healthy. I can see that my attitude to those obstacles is in my control even though the obstacles themselves sometimes are not. I am also learning that I can do really hard things when necessary. At the risk of sounding trite or corny, I am grateful for these last few months for what they have taught me about my priorities, goals, and inner strength, and about what motivates me. I hope to be able to continue exercising throughout my life and finding a successful balance between all the many passions in my heart.
