You can’t talk about good teachers without talking about good students, because voice building is a commitment on the part of both parties. These days, I’m spending a lot more time teaching than being taught. From this experience, I’ve learned a lot of things about both sides of the relationship. One thing I’ve learned is that occasionally someone comes along that, for whatever reason, is really difficult to teach. But, personally, I also find it extremely hard to suggest they look for another teacher. It makes me feel as if I’ve failed the student, when often, it’s just not a good match of skills, personality, ambitions or capabilities. Have I been such a student to some teacher at some time or another? I hope not, but it’s not unlikely. Everyone wants to feel like they’re getting what they pay for, advancing their careers, gaining more knowledge of their voices and learning to sing better, all at a reasonable (read “fast”) pace. Frequently, singers blame the teacher when they don’t accomplish all those goals. Sometimes the problem really is due to a teacher’s lack of knowledge, but other times the singer may be causing a teaching relationship to be unsuccessful.
There are many reasons for failure to progress in voice lessons. Sometimes, singers are limited in their capacities, especially as compared to their ambitions. Sometimes singers can’t stay on course because family, money or health issues intervene. Sometimes singers get tired and give up, and sometimes they simply can’t find opportunities to get the experience that they need.
In any case, no matter what stage you are at in your career, it’s always to your advantage to be a good student with whomever you’re studying. That doesn’t mean giving up the ability to think and reason for yourself, but it does mean that if you take half the responsibility, you’ll have a lot more control over your own progress.
Realize that teachers are human. If you understand this principle, you will have learned a major lesson. Teachers have good days and bad days, or even good years and bad years. Many factors affect their concentration and teaching, and thus your ability to learn. If a couple of bad lessons turn into more than that, say something.
Be friendly. If you’re closed as a person, you can hardly be open to new ideas. Some teachers get fulfillment from the emotional connection they make with both long and short-term students. That’s part of what makes them good teachers—the empathy to put the emotional and intangible into words. You don’t, however, have to give up more emotional space than is comfortable for you. It’s still your time, and you don’t need to spend it discussing anyone’s personal problems.
Teachers and students connect differently from one to the next. If you don’t feel a connection between the two of you, the teacher probably doesn’t either. It’s too hard to accomplish good work when a relationship isn’t good.
Don’t try to be too chummy with your teacher. It’s not good for the balance of power in the relationship. And consider how emotionally exhausting it would be for teachers to build deep friendships with all their students! They’re bound to be fonder of some than of others. Don’t take it personally. However, you don’t have to put up with the feeling that your teacher is in it for the money and has no personal interest at all.
Do what your teacher suggests. Isn’t that what you’re paying for? Don’t argue, just try. If something doesn’t work for you, you’ll at least learn what you don’t like or can’t do. Work the technique the teacher has advised. If you don’t, you’re showing the teacher a lack of respect. If you have questions, ask in an inquisitive, non-challenging manner. If your teacher tells you you’re not the next Sieglinda, but you could be the next Rosina, try it out. If you and your teacher aren’t on the same page, come to some agreement, or think seriously about moving on to another teacher.
Pick one or two things to focus on in the lesson and work on those. Don’t try to get too much accomplished, or nothing will get done thoroughly.
Treat your teacher with respect. If you’re treating your teacher badly, perhaps showing up late, arguing, bad-mouthing him or her, or bouncing checks, don’t be surprised if you are asked to leave the studio.
Don’t bad-mouth your teacher. It may come back to haunt you. If you can’t or don’t respect the teacher, you really should move on to someone you can. (This is more of a problem in a small environment than in a big city.)
Don’t be late and then expect the teacher to give you the full hour. If you booked from 12-1 and you show up at 12:45, you only get the 15 minutes left of the hour. It’s your loss, your money.
Don’t cancel at the last minute if you can help it, and if you do, be prepared to pay up. Even if you do pay for the lesson, it can be irritating to the teacher. Somebody else (perhaps someone the teacher would rather work with) may be waiting for that time, or the teacher may have other things to accomplish rather than sit around and wait for you. It can make a teacher resentful, and you might not get the best lessons in the future.
Be prepared. Don’t make a voice teacher pound out notes for you. Bring in music that is ready to work into your voice. Use coaches for the purpose of learning music if you need that; they’re cheaper than a teacher.
Be sure you’re expecting voice lessons, not therapy, handholding, life coaching, diet, exercise and weight loss, or marital/dating advice. Save your hysteria for the analyst’s couch or the stage. It’s not in your teacher’s job description. While some teachers indulge in these adjunct activities, they aren’t teaching voice when they do it.
Be patient. Voice building takes time, more of yours than your teacher’s. If it’s not going as fast as you’d like, review your goals and how much time you’re practicing, and see if you can figure out where the gap is. If not, discuss the problem with your teacher and see if you can find a solution to getting what you want sooner or easier.
Get on the same page. Discuss future possibilities for your singing career with your teacher. Be clear about your objectives and expectations. It helps to get where you want to go if you’re both reading the same map. If your teacher doesn’t agree with your ambitions, ask why not. Are you paying money to somebody that doesn’t believe in you or support you?
Practice already! Work to incorporate the teacher’s ideas. Give them feedback as to what is working or not. Tape your lessons and use the tapes when you practice to reinforce what the teacher said in your lessons.
Don’t expect a teacher to drop everything and all their other students to fit you in if you call at the last minute for a lesson. There are those big name teachers in NYC who accommodate a big-name singer from the Met, but most of us are neither of those.
Don’t bounce checks. Though we’ve all done it at least once, don’t make it a habit. If you do, expect to pay the teacher’s bank charges, which can be substantial. Your teacher is not your personal banker. Don’t expect a teacher to wait until the end of the month for a check from you. Pay as you go, unless of course, it’s a mutually agreed upon arrangement, but keep in mind that it’s a not a good arrangement. Paying weekly is much cleaner.
Be considerate. Don’t trash the studio/waiting room/practice room. Throw away your empty containers and used tissues. Save your teacher from dishpan hands—bring your own bottle for water.
Don’t blame your teacher if you don’t accomplish everything you want or your voice ends up not quite where you expected. Remember, it’s ultimately your responsibility to guard your instrument and steer your career. Watch for signs of vocal damage. Not all teachers, even the experienced ones, know the secret to every voice. If you don’t make progress in a reasonable amount of time, say three to six months, look elsewhere. If you don’t leave, you have no one to blame but yourself.
Studying with two teachers at once is a dangerous situation. It can wreak vocal and mental havoc as well as waste lots of time and money. However, sometimes, it’s a necessity; perhaps you have a lousy teacher at school, or there’s a big name nearby with better connections. If you find it necessary to work with two teachers, don’t imagine that they won’t eventually figure it out. A painter can tell when somebody else has been at his or her canvas, and so can a teacher. Be very careful if you are in this situation and proceed with your eyes wide open.
Here’s how to leave gracefully and get out of a teaching relationship without leaving bad feelings on either side. Being a good student also means knowing when it’s time to move on to someone else. That can be difficult when you’ve had a long term and even great relationship with a teacher. When the atmosphere is not right to tell your teacher that you want to try out some new ideas with someone else, you can write a letter.
It’s best to write a glowingly positive letter that’s right from the heart. Tell the teacher what you’ve learned, how much you’ve appreciated them helping you grow, and how your technique has improved and so forth. It has to be genuine though, or it will show like a hole in the seat of your pants. Leave out anything negative. Yes, that means you have to leave out that the teacher was late, talked on the phone, had to rush out, cancelled your lesson, and so on. After all, if these negative things did happen, you yourself found it worthwhile to stay to try to learn what you could, so take responsibility for that. Suck it up and just say thanks. That way, even though you chose to write a letter instead of handling it in person, you don’t feel guilty, your conscience is clear. While the teacher may say negative things to others about your departure, you will know that you handled it professionally.
So, to find a good teacher, be a good student. It’s a two-way street. Good studying!
