Mind-boggling
When Maria Callas was asked to describe her state of mind during a performance, she immediately referred to the brain. She had a vision of the brain’s two hemispheres complementing each other, as if one was in a state of trance while the other remained alert. In Callas’ description, the two hemispheres formed a harmonious pair: one was passive, almost on automatic pilot, while the other kept watch and guided, without interfering in the stillness of its partner.
Thus, the personal vision of one of the 20th century’s artistic wonders remarkably touched on a future discovery that would be used as a performance enhancing tool decades later.
The human brain, with its intricate network of many trillions of neurological connections, its ability to change and create miracles in the body, lurks beyond the frontiers of modern science, a magnet to constant research and exploration. Awareness, perception, thought—all that is encompassed in the elusive energy we call “the mind”—lie at the mercy of our gray matter. Each brain’s particular individual connections and pathways of electrical impulses determine the basic nature of our thought process, our moods, and as a result, our personalities.
In Shakespeare’s age, they called it choleric, phlegmatic, sanguine, or melancholy: a disposition (or humor) one was born with and simply accepted. Today, the definition of temperament lies somewhere within the rhythmic electrical activity of a system that contains 100 billion nerve cells (neurons).
The exploration of the brain has revealed that many disorders, which had been confined to the realm of psychiatry and psychotherapy, were actually a result of an imbalance in the brain’s function. Panic attacks, mood swings, depression, migraines, insomnia, the resolution of deeply-ingrained traumas, stroke and seizure-related disorders, and even addiction, presented the opportunity to tackle such neurological malfunctions right at their source: the brain.
The brain’s electrical activity is measured by the EEG (electroencephalogram) in the form of brain waves whose frequencies illustrate the type of activity the brain is involved in. Lower frequency brain waves are associated with sleep, while higher frequencies indicate awareness and concentration. The frequency and the location of the waves in the brain determine our state of mind and can be indicative of any of the existing mental malfunctions mentioned above.
If brain waves are the physiological factor at the root of our anxieties and depression, what would happen if we skipped the psychotherapist’s couch and went directly to the source? Relatively recent discoveries in the field of neuroscience have introduced the premise that brain malfunctions that manifest themselves in the form of psychological disorders can be treated by rearranging brain waves and redirecting them via certain electrical pathways within the brain’s network of connections. Met with skepticism from medical and psychology professionals, the long-lasting results of brain wave rearranging have yet to be confirmed.
How would brain-wave work affect singers? Well, how do anxiety, depression, worry, panic attacks, self-criticism, self-doubt, and trauma affect singers? The Romantic notion of the troubled artist whose creativity flourishes under the weight of dark memories and tormenting inner conflicts is difficult to incorporate in an art form that requires optimum physical functioning.
A singer’s performance depends on a variety of physical, mental, and environmental conditions. Entertaining our personal inner demons might help us inhabit Onegin, Medea, Werther, and other troubled operatic characters, but it comes at a high price. Maria Callas’ inner conflicts made her an exciting performer, but they tragically shortened both her career and her life.
Today we live in a practical world. Singers are encouraged to view their instrument as a product and clear away any emotional baggage that might hinder their optimum functioning in a fast-paced, competitive arena. A singer is very much like an athlete, yet both are dependent on more than their physical stamina and endless practice. Two very talented performers can spend the same amount of time working on their “product”; when it comes to delivering under pressure, however, the difference between them will come down to their gray matter’s configuration of electrical activity, in other words, the power of their mind over their body.
Brain Warm-Up
Intrigued by the possibility of understanding the performance process via brain-wave and mental training, I accepted Rae Tattenbaum’s invitation to participate in her Inner Act program’s two-day “intensive.” The process involved homework prior to my visit. Tattenbaum asked me to write a few assignments: a timeline of significant events in my life, a history of my health and physical response to performing, a list of the people who influence my voice, and my voice’s autobiography.
As I tackled the assignments, I noticed that everything seemed to become a clue to the development of my skill as a performer. The timeline of significant events surprised me just as much in what I remembered as in what I subconsciously chose to forget.
The climax of this preparation process was the autobiography of the voice. Tattenbaum asks her clients to write the story of their particular skill from the skill’s point of view. A tennis player, for example, would write just from the perspective of the “inner tennis player.” A violinist would describe events in the “violin player’s” view. The singer example on the assignment sheet sounded along these lines: “Sara used me [the voice] to wake herself up in the morning…”
As I formulated the first sentences of my voice’s autobiography, I wondered if writing from the voice’s point of view could ever be entirely sincere. Is it possible for singers to separate the voice from their selves and treat it as a separate entity?
Never say “never.” The moment I began this exercise, my voice did acquire a separate identity. I felt myself becoming an observer whose sole task was to put down on paper the words triggered by the “inner singer.”
Surprisingly, I discovered that my voice did not limit itself to its performances. From relationships with bad teachers, to disastrous debuts and overdrive on my part, writing from the voice’s point of view became a revelatory experience. I offer some excerpts of my voice’s autobiography as an example [see last page], and encourage all singers to try this exercise. The results might surprise and enlighten you.
Brain Workout
The first thing that struck me about Rae Tattenbaum was her distinctively soothing voice. Settled on a comfortable couch in her West Hartford office, I went over the writing assignments with her. We discussed the material and the different thoughts, emotions, reactions it had provoked in me.
Tattenbaum then introduced me to her program with a wonderful metaphor: “Think of the brain as a gymnasium. When you do my program, you’re exercising the brain. The more you exercise, the more robust, resilient and flexible the brain will be. Of course, there are many ways to exercise the brain. I’m helping people exercise their brain through the five phases of my program: open focus, mental imagery, inner journey work, neurofeedback, and coaching.”
Inner Act was born about nine years ago, when Tattenbaum began to use EEG biofeedback on performers to enhance their performing skills. Thanks to her theater background, Tattenbaum was invited to do performance workshops for a local music program. She realized that the young singers in the program had difficulty being in the moment when singing. Moreover, she was aware of her uncanny ability to tell when a performer is present in the act of performing. Her experience in the corporate world, analysis of the role of excellence and attitudes of high achievers, her untiring research and exploration proved a rich source of inspiration in the development of the Inner Act program. The goal of this program is to enable performers, athletes, business executives, and just about anyone function at their best by dissolving the barriers blocking them from realizing their full potential.
Webster’s Dictionary describes biofeedback as a “technique of seeking to control certain emotional states… by training oneself with the aid of electronic devices to modify involuntary body functions such as blood pressure or heartbeat.” In Rae Tattenbaum’s words: “Biofeedback is used to measure muscle tension, respiration and temperature; it’s any kind of process that gives the performer/athlete information on how to normalize activity in their body. EEG biofeedback, also known as neurofeedback, is a form of biofeedback that recently became available due to the shifting nature of technology.”
Tattenbaum describes the first phase of her program as physiological: “working on the ability to manage your adrenaline and breathing.”
“This enables the performer to keep their nervous system in balance during lessons, coaching, rehearsals, and performance, irrespective of what has happened beforehand. There are various approaches to helping a person achieve physiological balance. I select and customize the program most suited to the client in question.”
One of these approaches is “Open Focus,” a method that trains the mind to develop effortless attention by imagining space within the body. Seated comfortably, I was asked to imagine spaces such as the distance between the crown of my head and the lower jaw, or between the diaphragm and the bridge of the nose, for example.
Specifically adapted for singers, actors, dancers, and instrumentalists by Tattenbaum, Open Focus incorporates the physiology in the body that is most responsible for the particular performing art.
Why is it so important to imagine space?
“Research shows that by bringing all your sensory awareness to a given space in your body, the brain begins to produce synchronous alpha waves,” Tattenbaum explains, “which are ideal for putting a singer in the performance state [of mind].”
Synchronous alpha waves? On this sci-fi note, Tattenbaum acquainted me with the most fascinating phase of her program: neurofeedback.
I sat down in front of a large computer screen, electrodes stuck to my head and ears, and all I had to do was: nothing, which in itself can be a very difficult task! Tattenbaum asked me to concentrate on my breath, allow any thoughts to simply go by, and focus on using my mind to make a horizontal line extend on the screen beyond two colorful squares bordering it, left and right.
The extension of the line meant that my brain was producing the ideal performance-state brain waves (synchronous alpha). The reduction of the line and the increase in color in the two squares indicated brain waves that would hinder optimum performance. Every time my brain produced the alpha waves, rewards would appear on the screen in the shape of birds on a blue sky, accompanied by a beeping sound, and one point for each bird. Naturally, all I could focus on at first was: “How do I get more birds and points? How do I produce these ideal brain waves?”
However, my brain seemed to have a mind of its own—no pun intended—because nothing I consciously did seemed to affect the extension of the line. I tried closing my eyes so I wouldn’t see the accumulation of birds and points, but I could still hear the beeps and aimed to acquire more. I thought that if I could induce a state of happiness in myself, I would get more good brain waves. But the artificial inner joy I was struggling to create finally left me so exhausted that I gave up trying to impress Tattenbaum with my alpha prowess.
The moment I stopped trying to exercise control over something that was obviously beyond my conscious ability to manipulate, I heard Tattenbaum’s voice: “nice work!” which shook me up from my stillness and prompted me to analyze what I had just done. Yet the brain wave production continued to remain shrouded in mystery. Could anyone consciously do anything to produce these ideal brain waves?
Tattenbaum explained: “Eventually you will be able to recognize that state. In the beginning, I just have people focus on their breath, allowing thoughts and inner voices to go by, and rewarding the brain for making certain frequencies. The brain works faster than what you can control. You are learning to allow the brain to move in an uninhibited way. The line and squares are telling you that your brain has gotten stuck on a thought before you’re aware of it. So, in neurofeedback, you are learning to redirect thoughts and convince certain neurons to work together. This brings both your hemispheres in balance and helps them to communicate with one another.
Think of the brain as an orchestra. By doing neurofeedback, all the players in this orchestra learn to play together under one conductor. Most of us have, let’s say, a group of instrumentalists in our brain who play one piece while another group takes off and plays something else. Then our brain is in dissonance. The ideal is to harmonize the hemispheres.”
Besides Open Focus and neurofeedback, the Inner Act program also involves mental imagery and inner-journey work. All five phases are described on the program’s website: www.inner-act.com. During my two-day “intensive,” I had the chance to sing after each phase of the program, and the first difference I noticed was the stillness in my mind. I sang phrases and excerpts of arias and experienced an immediate freedom of sound and increased resonance. I was able to enjoy the act of singing fully, without feeling obligated to “do” anything extra, but simply stay in the moment, be true to the emotion I wanted to convey, and not cling to any thoughts or self-criticism.
It was by far the most liberating experience I have had in a long time. At least for a while, my brain hemispheres signed a peace treaty and enjoyed an amicable trade agreement in alpha waves. Never had the term “peace of mind” felt more real to me. My voice—as a separate entity—was absolutely delighted!
Inner Act Enthusiasts
Metropolitan Opera soloists John Cheek, Josepha Gayer and Mary Dunleavy have been working with Rae Tattenbaum consistently for more than a year. All agree that the Inner Act program has not only greatly enhanced their performance skills, but also helped them deal with real-life stressful situations.
John Cheek: “Every time I would hit traffic going into New York for a rehearsal, I would feel adrenaline shooting into my veins! All of a sudden, after the neurofeedback, that didn’t happen anymore. This was the absolute first effect I noticed. I became less reactive to situations, which made my life a lot easier! I mean, I still have those emotions, like anger, but now I can choose whether or not to act upon them…
“I had been performing for more than 30 years when I began neurofeedback work. Immediately after some ‘intensives’ with Rae, I felt my voice growing in resonance. I felt much calmer under pressure, freer, more able to act in the moment and do my best all the time.
“There had been some times in my career when I realized I hadn’t done my best despite all the preparation. But neurofeedback just got my anxiety out of the way. It has shortened my warm-up period as well as the time I need to learn new material. I also have better instinctive ideas about the characters because I can get myself out of the way enough to let the natural actor in me come out.
“It is exciting to me that at my age, I am finding these new challenges, and my calendar is fuller than ever. This program is a great tool for everyone, from young beginning singers to active singers, who want to keep doing their best consistently and not burn out.
Josepha Gayer: “I was about to make my Met debut with no stage time. I knew I had to concentrate without any kind of interference. I had heard about Inner Act from John Cheek and decided to try it in September 2002.
“When I got on stage in February for my debut, for a moment there I totally panicked. All of a sudden, something snapped and I could go right into the mode I had found with Rae [Tattenbaum], becoming very aware of ‘why am I here? What do I need to concentrate on?’ And I just flew the whole night!
That was one of those light bulb moments! The ‘whole-brain work’ we had done really paid off. Not only did this help me in that crucial moment, but it also improved my real life. I became a very good juggler!
“The neurofeedback gave me an awareness of how my brain functioned. I knew I was smart and could do a lot of things, but when you sit in front of that screen and realize you have absolutely no control over it except to follow instructions and focus on the breath, that is a revelation. That focusing is extraordinarily powerful. And what’s funny is: at first you think you can control it like you think you can control everything else in your life, which is just the biggest joke God plays on all of us!”
Mary Dunleavy: “I was doing the four heroines in The Tales of Hoffmann in Connecticut, and this production had Olympia on roller skates! We only had one rehearsal on stage, and I was mostly preoccupied with the roller skates! So my colleague, John Cheek, suggested that I give Rae Tattenbaum a call.
“I worked with her on my day off, between performances. There was a dramatic difference for me just in that one day. Since then, I keep going to her when I am around, and we also do some work on the phone. The main difference for me was that I was able to let go of the inner critic and the distraction of so many things going on in a performance. I could focus on each moment as it came. It was part relaxation but also part mental focus: starting to find ‘the zone.’
When I sat down in front of the neurofeedback screen, I thought I should have to work harder or make something happen. That is part of my personality, and it can get in the way. So it became part of the challenge: to just let the brain do its work without forcing it. It was hard to let go of the need to control, but with practice and time, and seeing the results, I could do it.
“Now I can get into the characters easier because I let go of my reservations and self-critiques. Audience reaction is much more profound when I am fully present.
“I would totally recommend this program to all performers. I think every performer has a level of self-criticism while they are performing or auditioning. To be able to leave that and just do your performance is a freeing and wonderful thing.
“People shouldn’t mistake this for therapy. This is very scientific. The neurofeedback is teaching your brain new patterns, and opening up the parts that allow you to be more present in your body and to still your mind.”
The Autobiography of the Voice (Excerpts)
Cristina’s first teacher unfolded me into a coloratura voice. For three years I was subjected to the discipline of vocalizes. Naturally agile, I took to coloratura like a fish to water, though I still loved to revel in my naturally dark middle and low voice. In this initial period, I was cared for and exercised, molded in Lieder and stretched in arias. I never felt forced. I grew.
My first competition brought me the label of “immature.” Cristina then took me to my first master classes, where I enjoyed showing off my three years of study, but I was still called childish and undeveloped. Cristina’s attitude changed. She started doubting me.
Influenced by her master class teacher, she took me away from her first teacher and threw me into the brutal hands of a highly recommended teacher. I was squeezed and forced into a tiny stream by the new mental imagery Cristina now imposed on me. I acquired a fast vibrato and a metallic tinge. I was pulled away from my warm darkness, and forced to be light to the point of becoming colorless.
I wanted to return to my first teacher but tragically, she had passed away. Cristina now had no more patience because she desperately wanted me to fit the bill, to mold me into an “approved” operatic sound.
I was taken to various experts. I would spend some months with an expert, attempting to fit myself into their method, then Cristina would get stuck and leave. Each new teacher brought a breath of fresh air and freedom, but soon I had no more space to move. Cristina’s brain had formed an iron circle around me and I had to comply.
My first operatic debut was a disaster. I was over-used during the rehearsals and Cristina wasted my energy in communicating too much with other cast members. Before the first performance, I was incapacitated. Cristina became ill, so I refused to work. She forced me to. She hated me for ruining her debut. She drove me through the sickness just to appear on stage.
I was very much disapproved of by Cristina’s first love. She introduced me to him, and I struggled to please her because she longed for his approval of me. He was very famous and in complete control of his voice, which overwhelmed me. There was no room for both of us in Cristina’s relationship. He disagreed with Cristina’s already dwindling conviction that I have an operatic quality.
Between 1995 and 1997, I was neglected. Cristina paid attention to me superficially, fooling herself that if she just took me from teacher to teacher I would improve by myself. But I wasn’t the center of her life anymore. She was in love and became increasingly reluctant to use me, especially around him. I always thought that love brought out the desire to sing. This was intimidation. I thought it was the end.
But it was not. Cristina’s attitude fell into the hands of a wonderful human being who allowed her to notice me once more. I started to come out slowly. I was exercised and cared for again, and throughout the year, I was shared with thousands of people in many performances.
She allows me to exist as I am with my faults and limitations. She uses me to sing what feels good, even if it does not fit into a category. She takes me to her current teacher and uses me without necessarily trying to please the teacher. I still have residual blocks in some notes, whenever Cristina’s brain cramps up or becomes too demanding. But she is trying to create her own niche and I don’t feel inadequate anymore. She finds ways to share me with others. I am finally accepted.
