Somehow, it’s amazing how the various stages of our lives seem to coordinate with the necessities. Of course, I don’t think I thought that while I was working. But like the pain of childbirth, one sort of forgets the downside of workaholism.
I balanced a career and a family with some difficulty, plus a lot of understanding, support and planning! For the first 8 years or so I traveled, starting each year with 48 weeks at the Met National Company. But I flew home for a few days every two weeks or so.
My management somehow always understood and made things happen for me that would include the family priority—maybe because they knew I would quit if they didn’t. (This was the ‘70s, when there weren’t so many good singers as there are now.)
In 1975, Jeremy, the oldest of the second litter, was born. Bonnie followed two years later, and then Jordan four years after that. I traveled with my children and a nanny until each child started first grade. My older children stayed home with dad and the housekeepers, except when it was a premiere or a neat place, and then they would come. That’s where all my fees went!
Sometimes my oldest daughter Lisa traveled with me. She was 15 when Jeremy was born and 21 when my last child arrived. She often took a semester out of college to be with us. We had a wonderful time and such incredible memories and hilarious stories. Like the time in a hotel in Edmonton [Alberta, Canada] when she was taking care of both Jeremy (then 2) and Bonnie (just a baby). Jeremy got in the elevator—and the doors shut before she got on with Bonnie and the stroller. She stood there in the hallway and watched the elevator go all the way to the top!
Logistics were scary, but when you are living it, you just figure it out and make the best of it. Perhaps living and working in the same place would have been harder. At least when I was home, I was home, and I was mommy and just that (besides learning scores, doing research, etc.). When I was performing, I was away. I seldom performed in Miami (“after all the girl lives in South Miami, how could she be any good?”).
Yes, I missed stuff. Maybe that’s partly why we were given the second litter! Soon after my youngest started school, I was approached to build the college/opera program at the New World School of the Arts. I am embarrassed to say that opportunity brought out the worst of my workaholism. That’s why I say it’s perhaps hardest to live and perform near home.
Our kids probably wouldn’t admit to missing much. I have some remorse, but very little, since we did it all with a lot of advice, consent, and good intentions.
