Once upon a time, I found myself alone on an elevator with Ardis Krainik, the formidable and brilliant General Director of Lyric Opera of Chicago. This woman’s 1,000-watt charm could make you reveal secrets you wouldn’t tell your mother. But her psychic barriers could shrivel you into a raisin just as easily. I felt my skin wrinkling even as I opened my mouth to bravely transgress every survival instinct and do what I’d heard I was supposed to do: Network.
But my best smile and “greeting” from my well-known voice teacher did not provide the hoped-for entry into conversation. Miss Krainik’s polite but chilly reply made it clear that she was not interested in schmoozing with a mere apprentice. She got off on the next floor, and I started looking for a bowl of bran cereal to jump into. What did I do wrong? What could I have done better? Whatever made me try that in the first place?
I wish I’d had someone to ask. Better yet, I wish I’d known before I ever stepped on that elevator how to make the most of a brief opportunity handed to me by chance. Now I’m better at chatting up the heavyweights, but I often still feel self-conscious and out of my league. Why? No one teaches singers these things, and yet networking is one of the most important business skills we can have. It’s a schmooze-or-lose world out there, my friends. And so, in the interest of keeping my fellow singers and myself from ever being reduced to raisinhood again, I offer these networking tips from the experts.
WHAT IS NETWORKING?
In their book, Power Networking: 55 Secrets for Personal and Professional Success (1992, MountainHarbour Publications), Donna Fisher and Sandy Valis define networking as “Creating links from people we know to people they know in an organized way, for a specific purpose, while remaining committed to doing our part, and expecting nothing in return.”
FACE YOUR FEAR
What can networking do for you? It can make friends for you, create opportunities you hadn’t even thought of, save you time and money–and it can get you jobs. But first, many of us must defeat the negative self-talk that ties our tongues, and makes us huddle in embarrassed little singer clumps at glitter-bosom parties, instead of working the room. The first step to becoming a powerful, successful networker is to ask for help.
Asking for help can be difficult. Many of us believe that we have to be supermen, doing everything on our own, never revealing weakness or need. Fisher and Valis refer to this attitude as the “Lone Ranger mentality.” They suggest replacing limiting thoughts, such as “I don’t need anyone’s help,” and “People don’t want to be bothered,” with empowering attitudes, such as “I can do this quickly and easily by working with the resources in my network.” “People appreciate the opportunity to contribute their expertise.”
VALUE YOUR WORK AND DO UNTO OTHERS
Before you can make these winning attitudes work for you, you have to believe you have a product, and information, that is valuable to people. Perspective helps. I recently interviewed a mother about the tragic death of her son. It was painful–so much so that I just couldn’t make myself pick up the phone. A wise friend listened to my woes, and said, “Stop looking at yourself as an intruder. See yourself as being on her side. You want to tell the real story of what happened.”
When networking, see yourself not as an intruder, trying to get something that your contact might not want to give, but as a friend offering valuable and helpful information. Approach networking as a giver of your time, talents, and resources, without expecting anything in return. You will not only project an attractive, likable image, but people will naturally want to reciprocate. They will be receptive to you when you do ask for help.
BUILDING YOUR NETWORK
Your network starts with you, and should reflect your values. What’s important to you? What do you want out of life? What are you willing to do to get it? Plan your goals around your values. Keep yourself on track with a list of long- and short-term goals, reviewed and revised regularly.
Be able to list your major accomplishments. How many times has someone asked you what you’ve done recently, what roles you sing, or what’s coming up for you? Be ready with a confident, solid answer. Even (especially!) if you’re not particularly busy at the moment, or don’t have anything coming up, you’ll be presenting an image of yourself as a hard-working success–the kind of person with whom others want to do business.
When networking, see yourself not as an intruder,trying to get something that your contact might not want to give,but as a friend offering valuable and helpful information.
Knowing your accomplishments helps you identify opportunities to connect with others. What do you do well? Can you design a business card? Tutor someone in a foreign language? Help write a letter? Pick out the perfect audition outfit for another person? Balance a checkbook? Skills that come easily to you may be a nightmare to someone else. Be on the lookout for chances to contribute–these are prime networking opportunities. And once you’ve offered your help, you may find your nightmares turned into dreams of sugarplums.
Finally, list or diagram all your contacts, and note how you know them. You can refer to this diagram when you need a link to a new contact, support for a particular project, specialized knowledge, and more.
SMOOTH INTERACTIONS
You have your goals and lists and diagrams and abilities all organized and ready to go…but when faced with a real live contact, you get your tongue all tied around the foot in your mouth. What then? How do you learn to actually talk to people?
You do it the same way you get to Carnegie Hall. Practice, practice, practice. You wouldn’t dream of going into an audition without having meticulously prepared your arias, or taking along your resumes and photos, would you? Be just as well-prepared and well-supplied for networking.
Fisher and Valis suggest developing a short, clear, catchy introduction for yourself. Let people know who you are and what you do in a way that generates interest. This is one area where being a singer is a real advantage–people outside the business generally like singers and the idea of singing, and they see your lifestyle as glamorous and interesting.
For insiders like general directors and coaches, you may have to be a little more creative. Don’t just say, “My name is Oldman River, bass baritone.” Introduce yourself as “Oldman River. I’m not your basic bass baritone–I sing everything from Bach to Barber.” Or if you have the personality to pull off something more playful–“I’m Oldman River, and I specialize in unsuccessful seductions of sopranos and slightly more successful duels with tenors. I’m a bass baritone.” Whether your intro is outrageous or ordinary, don’t forget to be engaging, warm, and confident. And don’t wait for someone to remember you–go ahead and introduce yourself again, and while you’re at it, remind them how you know each other. They’ll appreciate the face-saving. To save yourself similar embarrassment, pay attention when people are introduced, and note the date and circumstance of your meeting on the backs of their business cards. Include any other pertinent information.
Now that everyone knows your name, what do you say? Fisher and Valis recommend conversation generators–“icebreakers to which people can easily respond. A conversation generator generally relates to something you have in common with the other person.” For example, at a patron party, you might ask about the artwork or antiques, the city, the history of the opera company, or who sang here last season. With directors, conductors, and other singers, bring up colleagues you have both worked with (a great way to casually mention your own work). Keep business cards on hand; hand them out only when making a referral, establishing a lead or connection, or when a follow-up is required. Be sure the other person really wants to take it–otherwise you’re wasting your time and money.
ASKING FOR STUFF
No one in this busy business wants to waste time and money. So when you finally do contact someone who can help you, be prepared. Know what you want, and be specific. Make your request in a clear, concise, undemanding way. For example: “Who do you know who…(coaches Russian, is looking for substitute soprano soloist for church choir)?” “Who can you recommend to…(help rewrite a resume, take inexpensive, high quality head shots)?” Ask open-ended questions that require real answers–nothing that can be answered “yes” or “no.”
Once you have your lead, follow up promptly. And follow up with your contacts as well. Send personalized, hand written thank-you notes–no e-mails or phone calls, please! A personalized card puts your name on someone’s desk and in someone’s mind one more time, and reminds them that you are pleasant, professional, and appreciative.
NETWORKING EVENTS AND OPPORTUNITIES
Still not sure how to get started? Open your mouth and talk. You know a lot of people who know a lot of people! Give referrals and support to your contacts on a regular basis. Keep in contact! You never know who will end up being helpful. Once, after a tour of Frank Lloyd Wright’s Taliesin West architectural school and home, my friends and I chatted with the guide and mentioned that we were opera singers. She became very excited and introduced us to the head architect, a former Wright apprentice–who just happened to be on the board of directors at Bayreuth. We ended up getting a private tour and invitation to sing at a soiree.
Everyone you meet is a contact. You can put yourself in a position to meet influential people in every profession. Potential networking opportunities include:
• Professional organizations (AGMA, Equity, Opera America)
• Civic groups and clubs (Rotary Club, Elks, Kiwanis)
• Church
• Volunteer work
• Choruses, including church, semi-professional or amateur groups
• Serving on committees and boards
• Internet forums and bulletin boards
• Any person standing in a three-foot radius
When you make networking a way of life, you are opening yourself up to endless possibilities.
And you don’t really have to do anything that you don’t already do–keep up with existing friends, make new friends, do little favors for people without expecting them to reciprocate. Just do more of it, and refine your technique a little. You’ll find yourself more confident, prepared, and in control. And you’ll say goodbye to raisinhood forever!
