In past installments of the $50 Week, I’ve praised social media for giving people the ability to navigate and negotiate their resources, particularly when it comes to lending out a copy of a score, offering up a coaching session in exchange for a cup of coffee, or helping to track down a studio sublet in New York for the month of August.
However, as that glam metal lied goes, every rose has its thorn.
We’ve all heard cautionary tales about jobs that were lost to a Facebook rant that fell into the wrong hands or a Tweet that perhaps revealed a little too much information. Classical publicist powerhouse Mary Lou Falcone (who manages the likes of Gustavo Dudamel, David Robertson and, until recently, Renée Fleming) has famously advised masterclass students to never say anything ill toward anyone—and heaven help you if you put it on the Internet.
But what about the other ways that prolonged time on Twitter, FourSquare, Facebook, Pinterest, and the rest of their kind can hurt rather than help you? Studies have begun to show that frequent users of social networking websites end up spending more money on items recommended or advertised by the members of their circles. Many of you reading this have probably done the same, consciously or not.
And while these can be useful purchases, ones that offer a solid return on the investment, you may not realize how valuable they are—or aren’t—until well after you’ve spent the money. Read on for our targeted four-step program to having a healthy financial relationship with your digital world.
Compartmentalize Your Networks
“The entire world has become this Dickensian series in which you are not visited by three ghosts but by eight million ghosts,” author Sloane Crosley told the New York Times last February in an illuminating article by Pamela Paul. “I feel as if I see things about people that I don’t necessarily want to see, and then it’s lodged like a piece of corn in my subconscious.”
In that same article, novelist Laura Zigman concurred: “I had to go on a vacation-photo diet. I had this bizarre, voyeuristic habit of scrolling through people’s travel photos online and then feeling like, ‘Why haven’t I walked the Great Wall of China?’”
Those of you who have developed operatic roles know that it’s a slippery slope between immersing yourselves in the life of a Parisian courtesan, an Italian diva, or a schizophrenic Scot. There’s a similar element at play on social networks that can be damning to self-esteem. The UK-based University of Salford reported that out of a sample group of 298 social media users, over half admitted that their self-worth plummeted thanks to time spent on Twitter and Facebook.
Stefan Hofmann, director of the Social Anxiety Program at Boston University’s Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders, corroborated this research for WBUR (Boston’s NPR news station) and said that while social media anxiety is not yet a clinical condition, it was well on the way to becoming one.
These facts can be depressing. Even now I’m guiltily refreshing my Twitter feed while writing this—but in doing so, a quote from comedian Louis C.K. came up that perhaps exemplifies how to handle your networks: “The only time you look in your neighbor’s bowl is to make sure they have enough.” Perhaps that’s a bit too sanctimonious for a Facebook mentality, but it’s not a bad thought to keep in the back of your head when you start going through other peoples’ vacation photos.
Ask yourself: When you step back from the computer and re-enter the real world, how is this information pertinent to you? If the answer is not at all, let it subside in your memory. You and your friend’s Flickr album can always have Paris, but you probably want to pay your bills. Unlike the world of Dickens, you can keep these ghosts at bay.
Know What You’re Looking At
I love Pinterest as much as the next person. I love the ease with which one can pin and repin from a variety of websites and fellow Pinterest members’ inspiration boards. I love the aesthetics of a chockablock-full board. And the website, based on the idea of virtual inspiration boards, in its own way epitomizes a favorite mentality I have when shopping: Wait a few days; if you’re still thinking about what you want to buy a week later, then buy it. I’ve pinned summer sandals one evening in a fit of “I want it now!” only to revisit the board the next morning and question my own sanity at almost spending $90 on sandals.
But a survey done earlier this summer by Compete.com has shown not everyone shares this mentality. According to their data, a full quarter of Pinterest users have bought something that they saw on the website, whether it’s an item or a service. Guys, you’re not immune to this: breaking that number down by gender, men were twice as likely to buy something seen on Pinterest than women.
This is another instance of heat-of-the-moment thinking that is part and parcel with the digital age (Arianna Huffington calls it “The Perpetual Now”). Whereas 30 years ago you had to wait until store hours to purchase something, the ability to go shopping any day at any time means a larger number of impulse buys are made. So step back and take a breath when you’re in a frenzy of home decoration or wardrobe options boards. Even if you’re “just browsing,” ask yourself: Do I really need this? Is this something that I like simply for its aesthetic values, or is it something that I would go out to a store and buy right now out of necessity?
It’s a similar next step that you can take with instances noted above that can lead to social media anxiety. Looking at a friend’s photos from their trip to London may inspire wanderlust and airfare searches on Orbitz, but is it something that you genuinely crave or is it something you feel you want to do because you’ve seen a friend, a peer, an equal do it?
Tapping into your inner psychologist (I know you all have one from analyzing opera and lieder texts) and examining your shopping impulses—big or small—in a less romantic, more clinical light can keep you from incurring buyer’s remorse. It’s how I’ve kept myself from buying $200 worth of coffee mugs that I don’t need.
Know Who’s Looking at You
When Facebook went public earlier this year, as Lori Andrews noted for the New York Times, their inventory is your personal data. Given that the company’s revenue consists of ad space that becomes severely targeted to each individual user, it almost feels like your own personal shopper comes part and parcel with the social networking service.
I’ve ordered from ModCloth.com, and while it has no connection to my Facebook account, I’m currently staring at an adbar that is topped off by the newest summer dresses on offer from the retail website. The Shadow of the Wind ranks among one of my favorite books according to my profile, so HarperCollins.com is selling me on author Carlos Ruiz Zafón’s newest book in the series. And how Kellogg’s ever found out that Rice Krispies is one of my cereals of choice is beyond me, but staring at the logo just now has given me a Pavlovian rumble in my stomach.
It’s hard to ignore this subliminal messaging. A lot of it is still off-target—I was married in 2010 but I’m still getting ads for engagement rings, dresses, and preemptive solicitations for baby goods (nice try). I’m not in the market for a new manicurist and the bar that’s also taking up my ad space right now is in Fort Worth, way beyond my commute from Astoria, New York. But all of these advertisements seep into one’s consciousness and plant the idea in our head that we “need” things. My nails are a bit scraggly. I’m always game to read another Zafón page-turner. The dress featured in the ModCloth ad is pretty adorable.
And unlike print, radio, or television advertisements, the product is right there. In the time it takes me to click my mouse, I can be entering a shipping address, booking an appointment, or downloading an eBook.
Until we have what Andrews proposes to be a do-not-track law similar to a do-not-call list for telemarketers, there’s very little you can do about these ads invading your life. But recognizing that these are advertisements generated by a computer rather than bespoke suggestions coming from a close friend can help you to put up the necessary horse blinders.
Pace Yourself
It’s not just the overt act of buying things based on social media endorsements that’ll cost you money—it’s the act of looking at these things that can also set you back. I’ve often seen colleagues go on a Tweeting rampage with links to articles, Tumblr accounts, or sepia-toned Instagram photos cataloguing everything they’ve eaten in the last 24 hours, only to then gripe that they’re working late, running behind on a project, or feeling ill-prepared to take on a performance.
Do you see the connection?
Parse out your time. Check Twitter or Facebook and then close the window and, if at all possible, step away from your computer entirely. While it’s infuriating to see e-mails come with the Tim Ferriss-inspired autoreply or signature that the user is only checking their inbox twice a day, we’re thankfully still at a point where it’s not necessary to be perpetually plugged into Mark Zuckerberg’s playground or the realm of the Bird and the Fail Whale. Take advantage of it. Set a timer on your microwave, phone, or watch (or even online at e.ggtimer.com) for 20 minutes each time you tap into your networks of choice.
On a related note: unless you’re running for public office, nobody who counts cares if you’re mayor of anything. FourSquare is fun, but it shouldn’t justify spending more money than you can in the name of a meaningless title and the occasional free muffin at your local coffee shop.
