Perhaps you find yourself daydreaming about your wedding after listening to Le nozze di Figaro. Or maybe the idea of parenthood (a more successful one than Suor Angelica) has begun to seem more and more appealing. These are certainly momentous occasions in your life, but they don’t have to be momentous to your budget.
Find Your Best Men (and Women)
The digital age has spawned a myriad of common-interest groups online, from Trekkies to fantasy baseball leagues to LEGO enthusiasts. Unsurprisingly, there’s also a plethora of wedding websites, though perhaps the best for budget-conscious brides (and grooms) is OffbeatBride.com. The companion site to Ariel Meadow Stallings’ eponymous book, OBB includes a blog that’s constantly updated with examples of off-beat weddings and a social-networking component that allows brides-to-be the chance to get advice from those in the same boat.
One featured marriage was done for under $1,000, though the couple and guests look like a million bucks. Another couple found that the biggest challenge of their Las Vegas wedding was financing it, so for about a year they squirreled away $5 each day. Just $35 a week multiplied by 52 weeks is almost $2,000 to finance your big day.
“Remove the word ‘wedding’ from your vocabulary—think of it as a big family party that centers around voicing your commitment to each other and plan it from that perspective,” says Stallings. “When you get rid of the word ‘wedding,’ you can cut down on a lot of costs and focus on the aspects of the day that truly matter to you, separate from the ‘you gottas.’” This may mean ditching expensive floral arrangements in favor of a swing band. Or you may plug in your iPod for the evening instead if it means getting an orchid bouquet.
“Before setting out a wedding budget, I recommend folks sit down and think about their top five wedding priorities,” Stallings explains. “Once you’ve figured out the top wedding details you’re not willing to scrimp on, it gets easier to start cutting the things you could [not] care less about.”
Look for Similar Values
If you’re not warmed up to the thought of marrying at your house or the house of a friend or family member (the free option) but are looking to book a place that’s cheap, find a place that isn’t looking for a huge profit. .
State parks charge a pittance to use their facilities for the day. Many nonprofit organizations, such as Housing Works Bookstore Cafe (HousingWorks.org/social-enterprise/bookstore-cafe) in New York (which charges $500 per hour and donates all of the money to the homeless living with AIDS), will align with your budget and also allow your wedding to benefit others beyond you and your guests. Talk about starting off on the right foot! For other New York nuptials, ElopeNewYork.com offers advice beyond a runaway marriage and highlights some of the best places in the five boroughs to get a bang for your buck.
Food, another big-ticket item, can also be reimagined. When Brooklyn couple Alex and Alexis self-funded their wedding last fall, they cut the sit-down dinner in favor of passed appetizers, a cake, and open bar. You can also slash your drink costs by almost half if you offer only wine, beer, and champagne. Don’t feel the push to have a Trump-style wedding spread. If the event is about you, your friends, and your family, you can have an affair to remember.
Ask for the Gifts That Count
With more couples shacking up long before they walk down the aisle, the need for toasters and china is growing smaller and smaller. If you’re all set for silverware and linens, ask your friends to contribute their talents—a graphic designer can make you a stunning set of invitations, or a favorite accompanist can play your processional. This heightens the intimacy of the day and also saves your guests from stressing over wedding present sticker shock.
Alternatively, if you’re hoping for a honeymoon, websites like HoneyFund.com allow guests to contribute en masse toward plane tickets to Positano or a hotel room in Hawaii.
Baby Makes Three
“Just as there’s a wedding industrial complex working overtime to convince couples that they need bow-festooned chairs and special ring pillows, there’s a baby industrial complex built around convincing new parents that they’ll be failures if they don’t have a bazillion special baby-specific supplies,” says Stallings, who gave birth to her first child in November. Whether it comes before or after tying the knot (or even if the knot is never tied), having your first baby will come with a bevy of questions, many along the lines of “Is the $1,000 stroller really better than the $100 stroller?” and “Will my child be OK even if I don’t buy out Baby Gap before she arrives?”
Like your wedding, there is a list of important items that are worth the extra cost for your child’s well being. A crib, mattress, and car seat are at the top of that list for all new parents—though you may find that you can get these from friends whose own kids have outgrown them or ask for one or two as a baby shower gift on which all your guests can chip in.
“It’s important to use sane judgment—a lot of the baby industry sells on fear,” urge the folks at JustThrive.com, a free personal finance management site designed to help people in their 20s and 30s. “When you’re actually in the baby store, ask yourself firm questions such as ‘What does this product do? How does it help us and our child?’ And answer them honestly! . . . This will help you take a behavioral purchasing approach to what you and your child need rather than what the baby industry says you need.”
Stallings and her husband were less concerned with financially accommodating than they were with spatially accommodating the arrival of their son, which made for a practical and creative baby shower. Along with plenty of hand-me-downs and items scored off Craigslist, they were polite yet firm with their gift requests to minimize the clutter.
In addition to space practicalities, their presents included a diaper service to arrive before the due date, gift certificates to local cafes for much-needed caffeine, and college tuition credits through Washington state’s Guaranteed Education Program. And just like their wedding, they made their shower personal and practical by including a onesie and T-shirt decorating table. Not only was it fun for their creatively minded guests, it also provided their son with a fab and heartfelt wardrobe.
