I enjoy singing weddings. There is something about them that brings out the sentimentalist in me.
I am employed by a Catholic church in the Bronx, New York as their regular “leader of song,” or cantor, for the Sunday Masses. When a wedding is scheduled in our church, and the couple wants a singer, I am usually the one who is hired. The parish sets the fee for both the organist and me, collects the money from the couple and pays us. I get $80 per wedding. Other singers employed in other parishes get different fees, depending on the parish.
Of course, when I sing a wedding elsewhere I can negotiate my own fee. In that case, my fee will be $150 and up, depending on how far I have to travel and how much time has to be put in. On very rare occasions, the organist will demand a rehearsal, and in that case I also tack on an extra fee for the time spent.
When I am singing a wedding as an independent contractor, I always ask that I be paid before the service begins. That’s because of a lesson I learned a few times in the past, when I have had to chase people after the service in order to collect my fee. I’ll never forget one wedding where I had to wait around afterwards, searching for whoever had my money. Finally, the priest took pity on me and paid me, saying that he would get his money back from the family. It turned out that the groom’s aunt had been entrusted with the pay envelopes for the organist and me, and in the excitement of the day had forgotten to give them to us.
Once in a while, a particularly grateful family will give a tip as well as the basic fee, but this doesn’t happen very often and it should never be expected.
Usually, when a bride approaches us to discuss the music for her wedding, the first question is, “Will you be having a nuptial Mass or a simple ceremony?” A nuptial Mass is, of course, a complete Mass, with the marriage ceremony taking place after the reading of the Gospel and the homily. Many couples, however, choose to have a simple ceremony, which is much shorter and doesn’t involve the celebration of a Mass.
It is traditional for the bride to choose the music for her wedding, and it is usually the bride who will approach the organist and the singer to discuss this. Most brides only have a sketchy idea of what they want, and are happy to receive suggestions. We do get plenty of requests for the Latin version of the Schubert “Ave Maria.” Once in a while, we are able to substitute the Bach-Gounod “Ave Maria” instead of the Schubert, but most of them want the Schubert.
Cesar Franck’s “Panis Angelicus” is another common Catholic wedding hymn. We usually do this one during a nuptial Mass, at Communion time.
Once in a while, a bride will ask for a song that is not a standard liturgical piece, such as “One Hand, One Heart” or “All I Ask of You.” These can be inserted in the ceremony itself only if you have a tolerant priest conducting the ceremony, and a tolerant pastor. Many priests, including many pastors, are disturbed by the introduction of non-liturgical songs into a wedding ceremony. If you are not sure, it’s always best to check with the Rectory first before singing “Annie’s Song” at the Offertory!
If the bride desperately wants “Perhaps Love” or “Grow Old With Me” at her wedding, though, and the parish rule says “absolutely positively NOT,” you can usually get around this by singing it before the ceremony starts, while the guests are taking their place in the church. This is also a good place to do the Malotte “Our Father,” or some other piece that doesn’t fit well into a Mass or a ceremony. If you do this, though, be aware that the guests will probably be talking loudly all through the song and won’t hear much of it anyway.
If the service is a nuptial Mass, the singer will also be expected to sing the responses and the parts of the Mass. Being familiar with the Catholic liturgy will be a great help here. In any case, you will have to confer with the organist before the service begins in order to know exactly what you will be singing, and where. If you are unfamiliar with the liturgy, you will need to call on the organist’s help for cues during the service. If the organist is also a singer (many of them are), you might be able to persuade him or her to sing the responses and the Mass parts, and let you off the hook. It’s best, though (and you will make a much better impression) if you can do these yourself.
Except in rare instances, the singer and the organist will be together during the service, usually in the choir loft. In my church, the organ is in the front of the church, but it is in it’s own little corner, off to the side, and the organist and I are never more than a few feet apart. In any case, if you need a hasty conference with the organist during the service, it will be easy to do without causing a distraction.
Since the organist is usually positioned in such a way that he or she can’t see the church entrance very well, my services as a bride spotter are often called into play, to alert the organist when to begin the wedding march.
This brings us to another problem. Weddings almost always do not start on time, and it’s usually because the bride is late getting to the church. More often than not, this is blamed on the photographer, who is usually called on to take pictures of the bride and the bridesmaids when they are getting ready. Weddings can also start late for other reasons. But they still expect the priest, the altar servers, the sacristan, the organist and the singer to be there! Our church tries to discourage late-starting weddings by charging a late fee if the wedding starts more than 15 minutes late. Part of this fee is given to the organist and me, to compensate us for our time.
Other singers have other ways of dealing with this. One singer friend of mine, who is also employed by a Catholic church, folds up and leaves the service after an hour has passed, even if it isn’t over yet. But anyone who wants to sing weddings has to be aware that late starts are a chronic problem.
For this reason, it is wise to allow plenty of leeway time if you are scheduling other singing engagements or rehearsals on the same day. Otherwise, you are liable to find yourself in trouble.
Organists usually appreciate it immensely when they do NOT have to rehearse with a singer before a wedding. Of course, there are rare exceptions, when the organist demands a rehearsal. In that case, as I mentioned earlier, the singer is perfectly justified in charging an extra fee for the time involved.
Most organists, though, do not like to have to schedule extra rehearsals, and they really appreciate it when the singer is a trained, experienced professional. To an organist, it is a real pain having to work with the bride’s aunt or the groom’s cousin, who thinks she can sing and who always demands to sing at every family function. One organist friend of mine, a wonderful, elegant, elderly lady, tackles this problem by charging a fee to the amateur warbler who demands an extra rehearsal for a wedding. (This way, the organist is compensated for her time and trouble, and the person gets the message.)
Interesting things can happen, though. One of the people this organist charged for an extra rehearsal for a wedding turned out to be an excellent tenor who has since gone on to enjoy an international career in the world’s major opera houses. He and the organist became friends, and he still tells people the story about how she charged him for that rehearsal.
As for what the singer should wear, that will probably vary from individual to individual. When I sang at my niece’s wedding, I wore a beaded jacket. But that was a family wedding, and I was being extra fancy because of that. Normally, if you can manage to look simple and elegant, that will be enough. The focus of attention should be on the wedding party, not on the singer.
The most important thing that a singer has to remember, though, is that we are not just there to earn extra money. We are there to help make the ceremony as beautiful as possible. So no wedding can ever be “just another wedding gig.” We have to try to sing as beautifully, as artistically and as expressively as we can. It’s our job and our privilege.
