What do Lady Gaga and Katie Couric have in common? They both made headlines recently for admitting to having struggled with weight gain and eating disorders. Experts say anywhere from 10 to 24 million people in the U.S. suffer from eating disorders.
Classical Singer recently polled its readers on weight, eating disorders, and pressures within the industry. This was not meant to be a scientific study, but rather a means for gathering information and encouraging singers to share their stories. Nearly 650 responded to the survey, with more women than men responding. While many spoke of making healthy choices on diet and exercise, at least 100 said they have made unhealthy choices to lose weight, from extreme dieting and exercising to full-fledged eating disorders. A number reported having received treatment for eating disorders, from therapy to hospitalization.
Following are some of the responses.
Jessica
I would go through the entire school day without eating and with working out as much as I could. When I felt myself wanting food, I would take an appetite suppressant for support. By not eating, I saw a change in every single thing of my life. My attitude was different, my confidence level was nonexistent, and my voice suffered. I chose to not eat as a result from pressure I received while in college—and instead of it helping me cope with the stress, it ultimately added more stress to my life. The critical moment where I realized I could no longer treat my body with [such] disrespect . . . was when I developed polyps. I realized that my body is my instrument and that I needed to take care of it physically, mentally, and spiritually.
Rachel—Astoria, N.Y.
I have dealt with unhealthy eating choices since I was a child. I was a competitive gymnast and, unfortunately, it has led to horrible self-esteem. I’ve starved myself, binged/purged or just purged, took laxatives and diet pills. The constant purging irritates your throat, and I noticed a lot of pain when I was singing. Actually I think singing has saved my life, [because] since I was having so much trouble singing, I finally told myself enough purging or else I felt at some point I would ruin the chance for a career.
Anonymous
I have had an eating disorder since I was 11. I am now 30. This has affected my singing. When the body is in starvation mode, not only do your muscles atrophy, but also your body simply does not have the energy to sustain a physical act like singing. I became addicted to laxatives. During this period, I developed a flutter in my voice. I simply could not use my lower abdominal muscles after taking laxatives. I’ve known all along that no one else can fix this for me. I’ve had to make a choice: Do I pursue my passion to the stage or do I follow my addiction to the grave?
Anonymous
With bingeing and purging, my throat ended up sore and with less sensation, so I would sing and not feel the damage, but in recordings [I] would hear it. With starving and using diet pills, my throat would be parched and I had absolutely no energy or endurance. My body couldn’t respond as well as it does when I’m nourished, hydrated, and less concerned about appearance.
Tiffany—Columbus, Ohio
It wasn’t until about four years ago when I reached my peak weight of 260-270 and was having regular binge-eating sessions that I realized I had to do something about it. My freshman year voice teacher said to me, “It isn’t only about what you look like. I am concerned about your physical stamina in order to make it through a two- or three-hour opera.” I have lost 90 to 100 pounds in the past four to five years using exercise, counseling, nutrition groups, a nutritionist, personal trainers, yoga, and meditation/relaxation. This change was motivated by, and has affected, my singing.
Mary Jo—Fort Scott, Kans.
I began my journey at 457 pounds. I have currently lost 247 pounds with Weight Watchers since 2009 and I am still losing. My voice has always had a deep connection to what’s going on in my head. Every voice lesson we find some mental hurdle that I have yet to conquer. Often, it’s connected to how I feel about my body. Your body is your instrument—your whole body. When you hate your body, it’s hard to love the music it’s making. The damages I’ve put my body through have definitely affected my voice, on a physical as well as mental level. When I was over-exercising and starving myself, my voice became strained and exhausted. When I was taking laxatives, it was frightening to imagine using those lower abs, not to mention the cramping! After losing so much weight, I sound different. My body is different. I want to get my MM in vocal performance, but I’m afraid to go after that beast until I conquer this one. I feel that until I get the weight issue under control, I won’t be taken seriously as a performer and that I risk not getting into the schools I want.
Chrissellene—Potomac, Md.
Over the years, I discovered that when I began building my self-esteem and confidence, I could control myself. My need to satisfy my taste buds and stomach were no longer “the boss” of my eating. I went from unhealthy choices to healthy choices, began to exercise daily and loved the feeling of self-control. When I was fat, singing seemed easier, and when I was thin it no longer was as easy. But I discovered that it was not about being fat or thin. It was about using good or bad technique!
Rose—Oberlin, Ohio
I starved myself for about six months and lost a little over 50 pounds. It was surprising how much it affected my singing. I lost so much muscle tone that my breath control was almost nonexistent.
Darrin—Chattanooga, Tenn.
My desire to lose weight was largely driven by a greater desire to be healthy and active. I eat a healthy/balanced diet and I exercise daily. My routine consists of daily cardiovascular or resistance training workouts. This diet and exercise routine has improved my singing immensely.
Anonymous
The first time I lost weight while in Europe, I was under a lot of pressure and was focusing on my appearance. The second time, I just wanted to be healthy and didn’t care how it changed my voice. That attitude worked out a lot better for me.
Anonymous
I did the HCG Diet and lost 125 pounds. My range, quality, and resonance were significantly and negatively affected by the HCG. It took a full seven months off the HCG for the effect to dissipate.
Helen—Las Vegas, Nev.
Many times I have had students come to lessons not feeling well from some of these stupid measures. Especially the purging took its toll, and in a big hurry the singer would find out how much damage this does to the vocal chords.
Anonymous
My teacher can always tell when I’ve purged close to a lesson. You can hear it in my voice. My sound is much weaker because I am weaker due to dehydration and starving. It’s really hard to sing when you barely have energy to stand there.
Lauren—Philadelphia, Pa.
I think my problem may deal more with an issue of control. It is hard to manage time as an undergraduate. While simultaneously trying to be a perfectionist in every aspect of my life, control played and still does play a huge role.
Anonymous
I became a raw vegan and dropped down to 100 pounds at the age of 19-20. I got to the point of malnutrition [where] I lost my voice and dropped out of university at the beginning of my third year, and in doing so forfeited a lead role in an opera. I was too obsessed with image and not being “perfect.”
Bethany—Chicago, Ill.
Anytime you’re striving to please someone else rather than you, diet and exercise can either be an incredible source of empowerment or a fixation that overtakes your life and eventually becomes unhealthy and destructive. It’s all about who you are doing it for.
Anonymous
I considered my voice fuller and richer when I was 40 pounds heavier.
Anonymous
I wasn’t bulimic because of pressures to look a certain way within the world of opera; I was just looking for an outlet for all my confusion and emotional baggage.
Corinna
I chose to have gastric bypass almost six years ago and my singing career was a big consideration in making that decision. I had been told many times that my weight was holding me back. I lost 150 pounds in less than a year and I had to completely go back to the beginning and rework my voice. Was it worth it? Absolutely. My health is now immeasurably better, which was the number one reason I chose the surgery.
Catherine—Portland, Ore.
We are artists. We encourage individual expression and the power of diversity, especially in world perspective. To force everyone into the same cookie cutter mold (or little black dress) is to betray our dedication to this beautiful art we live and breathe.
Meghan—Ann Arbor, Mich.
We all still buy into the lie that we are not good enough as we are, that our value comes from our physical appearance. Through simply loving ourselves and our bodies, we can find peace and happiness in who we are now and who we can become.
Linda—Las Vegas, Nev.
Singers must endure and digest so much criticism, so we must be our own cheerleaders, self-nurturing and self-respecting even in the face of rejection and judgment. People with perfectionist tendencies and highly sensitive temperaments (both common in singers) are susceptible to eating disorders, so teachers and mentors should keep a watchful eye and provide students with ways to combat stress and foster positivity.
Thomas—San Jose, Calif.
The pressures that the singing industry puts on us to look a certain way does not equal the “pressures” that I put on myself.
Marion—Winston-Salem, N.C.
I refused to give in to the vision of what a singer “should” look like. AVA turned me away years ago, making mention that if I did lose weight they would be happy to hear my audition again, but felt I would “not be successful” at my current weight. Despite that, I sang opera professionally for 25 years! Good thing I didn’t listen to them either!
Kelsey
The majority of this image issue is of my own making. I was broken inside and reflected that in an unhealthy image. My turmoil was that I didn’t want the world to know, so I became very sensitive to my appearance.
Darrin—Chattanooga, Tenn.
It is a shame to see singers hired for roles for which they are not vocally ready simply because of their physical appearance. I also see skilled and talented singers that are “passed over” because they do not look the part. This hiring process and the “American Idol” phenomenon are destroying the art of singing in this country.
Helen—Las Vegas, Nev.
I have had to be aware of the fact that sometimes the best roles go to the more slender singers and a fine, fine singer will be left in the chorus.
George
The current attitude of organizations such as the Metropolitan Opera about looks over substance has completely turned me off to the profession and I have changed careers. The shallowness of the leadership of this organization, as well as many others, is a disgrace to the art of singing.
Anonymous
I have a suspicion that I will be more in demand as an opera singer if I am slim and attractive. I don’t blame the classical singing industry, nor would I push for it to change. I feel that either way it’s up to me to maintain my health and appearance, since my entire body is my instrument.
Anonymous
I’ve heard, “If you want to be any kind of a romantic lead, you’ve got to lose weight,” and, “You have the muscle, you just have to slim down.” Mind you, this attitude is not even coming from major houses, like the Met or Chicago—it has transcended throughout the entire opera world. For me, I really think about it every day, more than my singing voice.
Vera—Lockport, Ill.
Knowing that when I walk into an audition, the first thing people see is my size makes it incredibly difficult to sing well. I have been told that I sing such and such a role beautifully, but will never be hired to sing it because of my size. Would losing weight make me more successful? Perhaps; perhaps not. But at the end of the day, I have to like myself outside of the business, and I don’t believe I can do that by mistreating my body.
Anonymous
I feel the pressure to be trim not so much because “Oh, we need to be skinny in this industry,” but rather because excess weight can add the appearance of age. This is a major concern and a problem, because the image of youthfulness seems to be increasingly all-important in this field.
Janalyn—Cambria, Wis.
I feel immense pressure to be thin. The first time I won the MONC Auditions, I was so excited! I had my judges’ meetings to see what comments they had for me. The first thing they said to me was I was too fat. I wanted comments about my singing, but all they could seem to do was comment on my weight.
Barbara—Edmond, Okla.
When I was in a YAP program at the beginning of my career, I was told by the director of the program that I would be fired if I did not lose 60 pounds immediately.
Anonymous
I did auditions in Germany for agents and was told that I sang beautifully but that I was too fat. I was also being considered for a Young Artist Program with Netherlands Opera and was told that they wanted a dramatic voice but my weight was the problem and to come back when I was thinner.
Corinna
I do not foresee the opera world going back to accepting large singers. In fact, I see it moving forward and it being less and less acceptable to be even 30 pounds overweight. In the end, our health should be the determining factor. From life-threatening diseases like heart disease, to wearing out joints and diabetes and high blood pressure—[these] all become exponentially more likely the longer a person is overweight. Why would you want to live (or die) with any of those on the flimsy excuse that you have to because of your voice type?
