Trembling on the edge of the high dive, my eight-year-old self looked miles down to the water below. The ladder behind me was filled with excited kids waiting their turn—no backing out, my only option . . . to jump. I took the dreaded step, arms and voice flailing for what felt like forever through the air to the hard splat! of the pool. Swimming lessons at Rendezvous Park, I did survive. In the process of learning to dive, I climbed that board again, then again. I had many red appendages along the way, but finally became one of those excited kids on the ladder looking forward to the heart-stopping thrill of just letting go!
Does any of that sound familiar?
As you approach an audition?
As you walk on the stage to perform?
Are you ever afraid you might “splat!”? Have you ever come away from a performance with possibly a red face? These kinds of experiences are risks you expose yourself to as a performer. You’ve probably already experienced rejection, hit a wrong note, or forgotten the lyrics.
How can you learn to take this in stride—to get to a place where you’re able to bounce back and where you can actually enjoy the process and the thrill of going for it?
Those questions are explored in the psychological concept of resilience—the ability to bounce back from difficulties. Research over many years has powerfully shown that resilience is the key to success and satisfaction with life.(1) It affects your performance at work and school, your emotional health, and the quality of relationships. In fact, learning how to be resilient (it can be learned!) is the basic ingredient to happiness and success!
Resilience has everything to do with the story you tell yourself about your experiences. Training yourself to create a space between the event and your reaction to that event allows you to make a choice and not be held hostage by a lot of fear and negative self-talk.
Here are four strategies you can work with that will help you on your way to resilience.
Mindfulness
Mindfulness is defined as paying attention to the present moment in a nonjudgmental way. So, right out of the gate, here are two ways to help with thought patterns: 1) paying attention and 2) being nonjudgmental.
One way to begin adopting this state of mindfulness is through meditation. Over the last several decades, scientific, evidence-based research (2) has helped bring meditation into the mainstream culture, medicine, and psychology.
There is no need to spend hours in the lotus position to achieve the benefits of meditation. Beginning with just five minutes a day can provide benefits. Most experts suggest working up to 30 minutes.
Most of us spend the bulk of our meditation noticing our thoughts and gently allowing them to go away—over and over and over. Doing this without judgment physiologically changes our brain. Enter a difficult situation, and you now have practice and conditioning that allows you to let go of the negative self-talk that so often tries to hijack your best efforts—or resilience.
Move Your Body
By now we all know that exercise is valuable to be healthy. What you may not be aware of is how valuable it is for resilience.
When you exercise you put your body in a state of purposeful stress. At the end of your run, walk, Pilates, or treadmill, your body automatically returns to its normal resting place. You are literally teaching your self to bounce back. And since your body doesn’t know the difference between emotional and physical stress you will be prepared for it to return more quickly to “normal”—or resilience.
Live in Gratitude
Robert Emmons, a professor of psychology at the University of California–Davis, has found from his gratitude research that when you consistently notice and appreciate good things in your life, it boosts energy, reduces blood pressure and stress-hormone levels, and strengthens relationships.(3) When we train ourselves to notice the positives in our life, our brains become wired to seek them out.
One way to keep gratitude at the forefront of our lives is to keep a “happiness journal.” When we record our thoughts, either by hand or electronically, it helps focus them. Writing consistently and freely without worrying about grammar or spelling will maximize the benefits.
“A grateful stance toward life is relatively immune to both fortune and misfortune,” says Emmons. “We see the blessings not just the difficulties.”(4) Sounds like nonjudgmental thinking to me—or resilience.
Spend Time in Nature
How often do you allow yourself time to visit a park or green space, hike a mountain, or run your hands through the sand as you listen to waves lapping.
Numerous studies from Stanford, UC Berkeley, and UC Irvine are finding links to the benefits of spending time in nature.5 Benefits include such things as decreasing stress, relieving attention fatigue, and increasing physical activity. Being in nature as opposed to urban settings shows tendencies to greater happiness, less rumination, and even greater kindness and generosity.
“People have been discussing their profound experiences in nature for the last several hundred years—from Thoreau to John Muir to many other writers,” says professor of psychology David Strayer from the University of Utah. “Now we are seeing changes in the brain and changes in the body that suggest we are physically and mentally more healthy when we are interacting with nature.”(6) All these attributes contribute to feeling more alive—or resilience.
There are no guarantees that you’ll never face rejection—that you’ll never hit a wrong note, have a bad audition, or not get hired for the gig. There is, however, a really good chance that through resilience you can open to the adventure of being a performer and enjoy the thrill of letting go!
Endnotes
1. Tina Chadda, MD, “The Scientific Benefits of Meditation & Emotion,” Well Being Journal 26, no.2 (March/April 2017).
2. Ellen Langer & Alison Beard, “Mindfulness in the Age of Complexity,” Harvard Business Review, March 2014.
3. “Gratitude Is Good Medicine.” November 25, 2015. www.ucdmc.ucdavis.edu/medicalcenter/features/2015-2016/11/20151125_gratitude.html.
4. Ibid.
5. Ryan, R.M. et al. “Vitalizing Effects of being Outdoors and in Nature,” Journal of Environmental Psychology, 30 (2010), pp. 159–168.
6. Jill Suttle, “How Nature Can Make You Kinder, Happier, and More Creative,” Greater Good: The Science of a Meaningful Life, March 2, 2016. www.greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_nature_makes_you_kinder_happier_more_creative.
