Praised for her rich voice and keen musicianship, dramatic soprano Andrea Gruber seemed destined at a very young age for a huge operatic career. In her early twenties, she won a coveted spot in the Met Opera Studio, and was asked to sing Third Norn from Götterdämmerung for a Met recording soon after. In 1990, at the age of 24, she made her precocious Metropolitan Opera debut singing opposite Luciano Pavarotti in Verdi’s Un ballo in maschera. She was on her way to the top by what seemed a very direct route.
Ms. Gruber’s successful career is now a reality—but the journey has been neither easy nor direct. A New York City native, Ms. Gruber had a troubled upbringing. She began using drugs at the age of 11, and over the following nearly two decades she experimented with everything from marijuana, to heroine, to prescription drugs. Her drug use eventually led to her dismissal from the Met in 1995 and obscurity in the opera world through the mid-90s.
But what could have been the end to a very short career was instead the beginning of change for Ms. Gruber. Through her strong will and determination, she came clean—and now she is enjoying the flourishing career predicted 20 years ago. Indeed, the beginning of this century has seen Ms. Gruber on the stages of La Scala, San Francisco Opera, Seattle Opera, Arena di Verona in Italy, as well as a return to the Met.
Ms. Gruber courageously agreed to speak about her triumph over both addiction and the operatic stage in this Classical Singer exclusive.
Thank you for agreeing to talk on the subject of addiction. But let’s talk first about your upbringing. Did you come from a musical home?
Yes, my parents listened to a great deal of music. My mom played the piano and my dad the recorder. I grew up on the upper west side of New York City and I attended the Bank Street School until the 7th grade, when I was asked to leave because I was smoking marijuana. I was then sent away to board at the tiny but very beautiful North Country School in Lake Placid, N.Y. I finished grammar school there and went on to high school at The Putney School in Vermont. After that, I came back to New York City to attend The Manhattan School of Music.
Why did you start using drugs?
There were many reasons, beginning with my having a predisposition toward that sort of thing. I was a troubled young person with problems at home, and I looked for a way to escape.
The concept of addiction as a disease is quite correct. Given the same circumstances, some people will be drawn to drugs and others will not. Most people who have had a bad time taking drugs will use common sense and not repeat the experience. The addict will keep on taking them, hoping for a better outcome. When a sensible person puts his hand on the stove and gets burned, he will not do that again. If you are a drug addict or an alcoholic, you seem to lose your understanding of cause and effect. You keep on doing the same thing and looking for different results.
It is this disregard of cause and effect that is an illness. While you are taking the drugs, your ability to make a sensible choice is gone. You have physical, emotional and spiritual “pulls” toward the substance.
When did you start taking voice lessons?
I studied with Lise Messier during my junior and senior years of high school, and with Ellen Repp at Manhattan. From there, I went to Jerome Hines’ Opera Music Theatre International program in New Jersey and then to the Met, where I eventually began to study with Ruth Falcon, who has been my teacher for 15 years.
Who was your mentor?
My first musical mentor was James Levine. I was only 21 when I went to the Met, and he really brought me up musically. He talked to me for hours at a time and exposed me to all kinds of music.
Were you doing drugs all this time?
When I was 19, I spent some time in Phoenix House getting off street drugs like pot, heroine and cocaine. While there, I had a root canal done on a seriously infected tooth, and the dentist gave me Percocet, which made me feel very good. Although my counselor took the pills away from me, the seed had been planted, and eventually I began taking prescription painkillers on a regular basis.
I also had very bad menstrual cramps, and after I left Phoenix House I took Tylenol with Codeine for that. The first month, I took 20 to 30 per day. It escalated very quickly. For the next 11 years, even though I was in treatment twice, drugs were the focus of my life. I was taking them when I was in the Hines program, and I did not stop when I went on to the Met.
Does the lifestyle of a singer encourage drug taking in any way?
No, everybody has struggles. I do think that the way I dealt with pressures and stress at that time was a problem, but I lead the same lifestyle now and I’m drug free. It wasn’t the lifestyle that was at fault; it was my inability to cope with it.
How did drugs impact your life and your voice?
My work was incredibly inconsistent. When I was taking heavy-duty opiates and narcotics, they slowed my system and my response time. When I sang, I could not really feel my vocal mechanism, so I pushed a great deal, and my cords swelled to a degree that required cortisone.
No one at the opera knew I was taking drugs, but I felt like a complete fraud. My self-image was shot because I was doing things I would not ordinarily do to get the drugs. It’s not a great feeling. I went into treatment a number of times, and eventually I was ready to admit defeat and that I could not take those drugs safely. There was a moment when I realized what was happening to me, and after that I was able to put one foot in front of the other and ask for help. Then I was led through the process of changing my life.
Did anyone in the music world help you?
Yes, Speight Jenkins stuck with me through everything. He was incredibly loyal to me. I did lose some jobs, however, including three major recordings and a couple of big new productions.
How long have you been drug free?
As of July 3, 2006, I’ve been sober for ten years.
What is your advice for singers who take drugs?
If you have a drug problem, ask somebody for help. There are people who have lived through this nightmare and can help you get free of it. If I can get sober, anyone can! Addiction is a disease of shame and lying. If you can go to someone and tell them the truth, that’s the beginning of recovery. Now I have a strong base of recovering people in my life.
I used to mentor kids at Covenant House, but right now I have so little time that I will have to do other things instead. I’m no longer in New York City often enough to provide the kids with consistency. On the other hand, I want to stay available to other people in recovery. I know that’s how I got off drugs. Other people took the time to help me.
What are your thoughts on vocal technique?
Technique is the basis of everything, but you have to “forget” it, in the sense that it becomes a part of you. I recently sang Turandot with bronchitis, but my technique allowed me to sing a good performance. I was not well, but I know how to sing. The voice should be even from top to bottom. Everything is breath-oriented. I use my back and rib cage like an accordion, which keeps the pressure off the chest and away from the throat.
What are some of the high points of your career?
Obviously, things turned around for me when I got sober. Because I showed such great promise when I was very young, there was a great deal of attention focused on me then, but the real high points of my career occurred much later. For example, at the first stage rehearsal of Turandot at the Met, after my aria I got an ovation from the chorus! Those were people who had known me since I was 21 years old and had been through a lot with me. That was an extraordinary moment.
How do you handle the stress of performing now?
If you have a good technique, you’re healthy, you love to sing as I do, and you’re comfortable on stage, you can keep things in perspective. I get excited before a performance, but I don’t fear going on stage. I love what I do. I take my job very seriously and I work very hard, but my life doesn’t depend on being a great singer. I can’t live for singing alone and stay sober. It’s too difficult to live that way when you are in a business that’s all about me, me, me.
I’m very lucky and I’m booked all over the world. I have a great career and I’m really thankful for that, but it’s not the be all and end all of my life. If I couldn’t sing and stay sober, I would have to do something else. I have a lot of people in my life that I can talk to, and they help me a great deal. Music is very important, but I have to keep it in its rightful place.
I heard that you had weight loss surgery.
Three years ago in November, I had gastric bypass surgery. It was a life decision that had nothing to do with singing. I was obese and I just did not want to spend the rest of my life in that body. Since then, I’ve lost 140 pounds. I was boxing and exercising even when I was at my heaviest, though. Exercise has really saved my life. Now I eat what I want, but I eat less because I feel full when I’ve eaten enough. The surgery gives you an “off button.”
How do you manage to have a private life?
Having a private life with my schedule is a lot of work, but it’s very important, because you can’t curl up at night with an opera career. I have great friends and a wonderful boyfriend. I stay in touch, I fly my friends in to see me, and I’m pretty good on the phone.
What are some of the important performances you will be singing in the future?
In October, November and December 2006, I will be at the Met singing Tosca. Then, in January and February of 2007 I go to the Lyric Opera of Chicago for Turandot. For the next few years I have a full schedule singing operas that I love at important opera houses all over the world. I have nothing to complain about!
