As I stand at a crossroads in my vocal career, I have to ask myself that all-important question: Why do I sing? My schooling is complete, at least for now. I have worked six long, difficult years to achieve my degrees, but now what? I am balancing four different jobs in addition to my practicing, auditioning, and performing; yet, I am still not financially stable. I’m spending half of the hours in my workday doing unpaid singing work, and sometimes I’m actually paying to get the chance to do this singing work. In school, I did not need to evaluate the time I spent practicing because it was my homework, but now I have to practice on my own time. I feel like I should stand by a freeway on-ramp holding a cardboard sign reading “Will Work to Sing.”
So, why do I sing? I sing because I cannot imagine my life without music. I believe I was nine months old when I uttered my first melody, and I’ve been humming ever since. A look at my old elementary school report card shows that I was a great, attentive student, but that I had a penchant for humming in class without realizing it. My foot is constantly tapping out a beat in time with the music rushing through my head; I call it my inner jukebox. Since I can remember, it has been my dream to be a performer—be it tap dancing at the front of my mother’s flower shop, on the stage with the local acting troupe, or at the Metropolitan Opera House. To breathe is to sing. To sing is to breathe. When I get depressed, happy, tired, exhausted, excited, silly, or any extreme of emotion, I turn to music to bring me back to homeostasis. Music keeps me centered. Music keeps me grounded. Music clears my mind and gives me a vacation, albeit a brief one, from real life. If I look back at all the major events in my life, I realize that they all revolve around music and performing.
Why do I sing? Because it is who I am and who I’ve always been. And I will take all the part-time, labor-intensive jobs I need to so that I can keep singing in my life.
Marissa Bloom is currently a resident artist at Opera San Luis Obispo in California and is auditioning for Young Artist Programs while teaching voice lessons in Atascadero, California. You can reach her through her website, www.marissabloom.com.
