“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” – Author Unknown
Most fairy tales begin: Once upon a time…. That is often the way many of us think at the beginning of this singing and career process. The journey usually begins with having some amount of talent that those closest to us might think astounding and worthy of a world career. This dream is further embellished in our own fantasy world with the hope of being discovered, then moved up the food chain by others until we become a “star”! There is a romanticized notion or story we have concocted that might be true for a very specific few but most times unbeknown to us, it is just hype.
Most success comes from being awake enough to be able to question whether you are being realistic about your talent, abilities and where that can take you – your dream. And then it all comes down to how fiercely responsible and accountable you intend to be for owning each and every step needed to obtain that dream. And yes, it is work! Instead of doing the work needed for just you, some of you continually compare yourselves to fellow singers as they move forward at a much faster pace. As you hang out with them you start thinking to yourself that you are as talented if not more talented than they are, just as attractive and well liked, so why haven’t you made it? You desperately try to imitate them in every way; vocally, speaking voice, do what they do, go where they go, etc., even though none of it brings you closer to your goals and dreams. They, in the meantime have done and continue to do the work necessary vocally and business wise to move them forward and you simply try to imitate all that they do instead of figuring out what works just for you in every way and doing that.
A “want to be” singer can be over or under confident. It has nothing to do with talent. So what is “it”, that thing and how do you realistically handle it? Perception becomes habitual. This has to do with your own past experiences of anything and everything. If you have been praised and applauded for your talent above and beyond what the reality of it really is or think to yourself that even though few people have encouraged or supported your talent you could become a very good performer, what you think could become a stumbling block in either direction. Perception, your past experiences shape your reality unless you are awake and choose to start the process of change by being fierce mentally about how and what you change.
- You make up your own life story, feeling more comfortable with long established patterns of behavior that give you the illusion of security rather than having the guts to strip the many veils to reveal your real self. You feel stuck in your comfort zone. So change your story! Change your past! And get mentally fierce about telling yourself only that new, realistic improved story that makes you feel good about your talent and life. It allows you to be responsible and accountable.
- The ego can take you hostage through your emotions. Emotions can also be contagious and create agitation and chaos so choose how and where you want to spend your emotional time. And believe me when I say, it is easy to be swayed or pulled into someone else’s emotional moment that may keep you from reality, responsibility and accountability. It’s your journey and your choice.
- Feelings are the antennae that register the significance of your exchanges with others. In feeling, your mind reaches out and uses its intuitive skill to test for value within a situation or relationship including the one with yourself.
- The mind becomes addicted to the readymade, pre-packaged images surrounding it which helps you ignore the visionary within you. You have an instant source of information available at all times, your intuition and you know it but often don’t trust it. It is your innate quality of knowingness, of assessing the truth of a situation in that moment – your gut feeling. Make it stronger by relying on and using it more often.
- Change pulls you in many directions. In the outside world, a part of you fears change, for it intrudes on the comforts of habit. It can also stimulate and excite you to want to move forward. Choose wisely!
- Success comes as much from unlearning as it does from learning. You are going to be responsible for owning how and what you learn by choosing what information and experiences are worthy of your time, energy and money.
- Freedom and responsibility are like the two sides of an arch leaning in upon each other, with a truthful self-image acting as the central keystone. Unless you are free, in the sense of being able to do and say what you believe in, rather than having that be determined by others, responsibility means nothing but conformity. Conversely, unless you are responsible, and live by your belief of what is right, your freedom is an indulgence, it’s wasted because it will bring you nothing of worth.
- Skills add structure to your experiential knowledge. What does that mean? Whatever the activity, like creating goals and following through, an awake and conscious person will sit back and formalize all the accumulated knowledge into a sequence of steps that, if followed, will lead to taking action. If you follow this plan, you will notice that there are fewer and fewer adjustments that need to be made to correct your course of action. You are working from your strengths.
Developing your assets is your responsibility and you must stay alert for these opportunities and then incorporate them into your performance both on and off stage. This kind of knowledge and strength develops over time – it means to expect failure, trial and error which allows you to get the feedback you need to get down to your real core values, and process your knowledge differently, thus allowing you to change your focus and your mind. As a result of this, over time you become more aware of whom you really are, your authentic self. This growing awareness allows you to identify more clearly with your natural talents and expand and work from your strengths, rather than trying to fix your weaknesses and simply imitate others. It allows you to be awake and conscious, to own how you do what you do by being realistically responsible and accountable.
Avanti and Ciao until next time. Carol
