Last month, I shared some horror stories about certain singers’ inappropriate sense of entitlement and resulting bad behavior, inspired by comments gleaned from colleagues’ posts on Facebook, the virtual teacher’s lounge of the 21st century.
This month we answer the more important questions: What can you do to make sure you aren’t falling into a trap of bad behavior? How can you project confidence and professionalism without coming across as arrogant? Here are a few things to think about.
Have good manners.
Good manners are key and can be summarized quite simply. “Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others,” wrote etiquette maven Emily Post. “If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.”
Err on the side of conservatism in address and tone.
Take the time to find out the correct title and name spelling of the person you’re addressing, and when you contact them, use a proper salutation and address them correctly. “Hey” is not a proper salutation for someone you are not on intimate terms with and, in fact, is quite rude. “You cannot imagine how many e-mails I’ve received that start ‘Dear John,’ ‘John,’ or even ‘Hey John,’” says John Keene, director of Florida Grand Opera’s Young Artist Studio. “Crazy.”
Make it easy to fulfill your request.
You’re the one asking for a favor, and it’s up to you to do everything you can to make it easy and pleasant to fulfill, especially if you hope to ever ask for one again! If, for example, you are asking someone to write a recommendation for you, you should include in your request the proper title and correct spelling of the person’s name, due date, and specific directions for submitting (many recommendations are submitted electronically these days, but if a hard copy is required, you should include an addressed, stamped envelope). Put your contact information on every single piece of material you submit.
Don’t be a special snowflake.
Asking for special treatment and exceptions to the rules only marks you as a troublemaker. If you missed the submission deadline, too bad. You’ll have to apply next year. If you can’t sing on the grand prize concert because it’s your great grandma’s 100th birthday, too bad. You shouldn’t enter the competition. “A singer in Toronto contacted me to study with me on one of my intensive teaching trips,” recalls Susan Eichhorn Young, a voice teacher and blogger in New York and Toronto. “The e-mail said, ‘The dates you are coming aren’t convenient with me. Could you come up a day early so I can schedule with you?’ No word of a lie. I just stared at that one for a very long time . . . and never answered it.”
Take responsibility for your own career.
When you decide to become a professional singer, you are for all intents and purposes setting yourself up as the CEO of You, Inc. And until you can afford a marketing director, publicity manager, executive assistant, travel agent, and janitor (don’t hold your breath), you get to hold all these titles and their accompanying responsibilities as well. That means that it is up to no one but you to keep track of your audition requests, appointments, contacts, program info, and so on.
Do your own research and your own work.
Almost every opera company, YAP, pay-to-sing, agent, and school has its own website, and most of them list all pertinent information right there on the site. That is where you start. When you’ve done the basic research, then you can go to singer bulletin boards or ask your friends for their input. If you still have outstanding questions that you truly can’t find the answers to after a thorough check of the site and consultation with others, then and only then should you e-mail the administrator. And it doesn’t hurt to mention, in your e-mail, that you’ve looked all over the site and just can’t seem to find this information—are you just missing it?
Be tactful.
A singer friend recently mentioned a young colleague whose regional career is starting to move ahead, and in her focus on growing her career she seems to be burning bridges with the smaller companies that gave her a start by not accepting gigs they offer now. “How is one to prevent being seen in a negative light when turning down jobs that don’t help forward your career?” asked this friend.
The answer is tact. Moving up is a career stage which—one hopes—happens regularly. But arts administrators and organizations also move up, so you don’t want bad blood! Any intimation that you are now too good for the company or gig offered will certainly reek of entitlement (and, besides, there may come a time when a $250 hometown concert gig is a welcome bit of “filler” in your schedule). It’s best to always thank whoever offers you a gig for thinking of you and be regretful that you aren’t available this time due to, say, another gig or an audition trip. Be sure and let them know how much you’ve treasured your work with them in the past, as well. And be sincere. After all, they are paying you a compliment by offering you work.
Follow instructions.
No one is exempt from following directions, which are usually put in place for a good reason. In fact, showing that you can take instruction is part of the evaluation process! If you can’t fill out a form or send in the requested materials in the proper format, no one is going to believe that you’ll be a cooperative, attentive, detail-oriented colleague. And forget about being able to take stage direction.
Realize that a degree, a good GPA, leading roles in school and all the encouragement in the world from your teachers is not a magical guarantee of success.
The difficult truth of the singing business is that there are many more talented singers than there are jobs, and it’s even more challenging for some Fachs than others. It’s not even enough to work hard—often, you have to do the right work at the right time as well. You have to make connections, develop business savvy, get along with people, and figure out your voice and how to market it—and you have to do all of that pretty early on or face further challenges. Just because you’re the golden child at your conservatory or Young Artist Program does not mean that you’ll rocket to the top once you graduate.
A Few Final Thoughts
“I tell my favorite John Moriarty story all the time,” says Laurie Rogers, director of Opera Saratoga’s Young Artist Program. “I worked on his staff at NEC for years, and every fall the new opera class would gather figuratively at his feet to hear his words of wisdom. He would haul out his copy of Musical America—a huge tome several inches thick full of all the agents’ rosters and hundreds of singers, slam it on the piano, and say, in his broad New England accent, ‘See this? This is your competition!’
“His point, of course, is that there are many, many singers out there, and carrying any sense of entitlement can be fatal to a young singer—there are too many others willing to step in,” Rogers continues. “In masterclasses I talk about the difference between arrogance and confidence and, believe me, it is obvious. And we all talk to each other when we are hiring and casting—the network is a huge tool. So what happens at one company is easily passed around. Your reputation matters!”
So what can you do if you see yourself in some of these anecdotes? Is your career forever ruined? Will anyone ever hire you for their Young Artist Program? Look at it this way: everyone expects young singers to make mistakes. It’s part of the learning process. The path to a professional singing career is usually much more like a hike up a mountain than a rocket ship ride—full of ups, downs, switchbacks, and false turns before you reach the summit, where the view may or may not be what you expected.
Young singers are expected to make mistakes, but they are also expected to learn from them. If you have stepped on toes, you may or may not be able to repair the damage—sometimes time and proof that you’ve really changed will do the trick, and other times that bridge will always be a pile of smoldering ashes. Be careful, be humble, be diligent, and be kind. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. There’s a reason why they call that the Golden Rule. Follow it and—well, you might not be golden, but at least you won’t find yourself as the wrong kind of popular topic in the Facebook teachers’ lounge.
Written by Cindy Sadler, the full article “How Not to Be the Singer Behaving Badly” was published in the February issue of Classical Singer magazine. Ms. Sadler is a professional singer, teacher, writer, director, and consultant. She is the founder and director of Spotlight on Opera, a community opera troupe and training program in Austin, Tex. Her 2012-13 engagements include Marie in Most Happy Fella with Tulsa Opera, Messiah with the San Antonio Symphony, Martha in Faust with Austin Lyric Opera, and Gertrude in Romeo and Juliette with Intermountain Opera. For more information, visit www.CindySadler.com.
