By Angela Peterson Winter
There comes a point in many artists’ lives when we begin to feel our art is more of a chore than a joy, more of a job than a passion. When we reach this point, we have a choice: push through, quit, or go in search of answers.
Not long after grad school, I hit this point. It felt like a massive rock that seemed insurmountable. I felt all these expectations on me–to make money singing, pursue a DMA and get a University position, audition relentlessly, not to mention get married, support myself, and build a secure financial future.
I didn’t know where to turn or what to do, and I believed that no matter what choice I made, I’d be letting someone down or missing out on something important for my future success.
Being the stubborn perfectionist that I was, I pushed through. I found a job, took some auditions, wrote cover letters for University positions, moved in with my boyfriend, and started a teaching studio.
But everything I did felt off, and my voice went downhill quickly. The tenuous fach change I had made in grad school started to slip and I wasn’t able to maintain any new techniques I learned. For several months I didn’t even want to open my mouth to sing. I felt like a failure, and a fraud; all that money, all that work I’d invested over the years, felt like a waste.
Fortunately, a couple years later, I was introduced to Julia Cameron’s The Artists Way, which served as a catalyst for much introspection and personal growth and eventually the pursuit of my deepest passion – coaching. What I’ve learned is what I want to share with you today.
Singing is spiritual.
Not in a religious dogmatic way (unless that feels good to you), but in that it is directly of and affecting the soul.
Creativity is the soul’s expression, humanity’s divine birthright.
Without a connection to your soul, you can learn all the technique available, master all the repertoire you’re assigned, do everything that’s asked of you and more, and it will never be enough. Your art will never feel authentic and it won’t move your audience to tears. Songs will be beautiful notes, but not the messages the composer and poet intended.
Without a connection to your soul, singing is all about you and your abilities – a sure recipe for performance anxiety – and not the music and the artistry that only you can bring to it.
As I realized this over the years, my technique stabilized. I reclaimed my joy in singing and made the decision to pursue singing for me instead of for a career, because that’s what felt truest for me. I stopped pushing and found (some!) answers. Some days I still feel like a failure, but I don’t feel like a fraud, and I know that nothing I’ve done has been a waste, but just one necessary step on my path.
So if you can relate to any of this, here are some questions to ask yourself to begin to create a shift and reclaim your own creative joy as a singing artist:
Why am I singing?
Why am I singing my particular repertoire?
What drew me to singing in the first place? Does this still feel true?
If I could make a living in any way possible, what would it be?
What are my unique gifts, as a singer and as a human being, that I want to share with the world?
How can I play more – with my voice, my art, and within my life?
When we can connect to our soul’s personal truth and encourage it to play, our original passion can be re-inspired and sometimes discovered in additional places, all of which leads to a vibrant voice, confidence, and joy.
I wish you many blessings on your journey.
Angela Peterson Winter, M.M. is a voice teacher and life coach who helps singers and creative souls find their voice and express who they really are. She helps them pinpoint and release the stuck places throughout body, mind, spirit, and voice so they can sing with ease, perform with confidence, and create with authenticity. She holds degrees from Butler University, Westminster Choir College of Rider University, and training in life coaching and CCM teaching methodologies. She was also a 2011 NATS Intern. Learn more at www.angelapetersonwinter.com.
