Want to learn the real secrets to better communication and rapport? They are surprisingly simple to unlock once you find the key. We all have what is called our “inner language systems”. We use them when talking with others and also when we have those conversations with ourselves in our head. There are 3 – Visual (seeing), Auditory (hearing) and Kinesthetic (feeling) and even though we use all three, all the time, we each have a preference for one over the other two, which is the key to our personal comfort level when communicating.
Here’s how it works: When you ask someone a question, they unconsciously give you the key to unlocking their “inner language” preference. If they prefer Visual (seeing), their eyes will automatically look up to find the information they need to answer that question. If they prefer Auditory (hearing), their eyes will shift in the direction of their ears to find the information and if their key is Kinesthetic (feeling), their eyes will look down at the ground to find that information to answer the question. Simple, but it never fails to give you their preference, their key to creating better communication. We usually choose our mates and friends whose “inner language” system preferences, compliments our own. Check out guests eye movements when asked questions on talk programs and start noticing which “inner language system” they prefer.
Ask questions of others and start noticing which “inner language system”, Visual, Auditory or kinesthetic, they prefer. If it’s Visual and not your own preference, you can answer, “I see what you’re saying”, even if that doesn’t seem comfortable or familiar to you. If it’s Auditory, you can answer with, “I hear what you are saying”, again, even it doesn’t seem comfortable to you. If it’s Kinesthetic, you can answer with, “That feels right to me”, even if it doesn’t seem comfortable to you. In the all new 2nd edition of my book, Aria Ready, The Business of Singing, I have given you a vocabulary list for each “inner language system” to help you get better at communicating in what will seem like real foreign languages. Being able to gain this skill is one way to achieve instant rapport with others, making them feel understood and comfortable with you and vice versa. Simple, just not easy but well worth the effort. Give it a try and pass it on.
Till next time. Ciao Carol
Secrets to Great Rapport & Communication
