In the heating and air conditioning trade the point on the thermostat in which neither heating nor cooling must operate – around 72 degrees – is called “The Comfort Zone.” It is also known as “The Dead Zone.” ~ Russell Bishop
What do you dream of achieving not only in your professional singing career, but in life in general? In your wildest imagination what do you see yourself doing? Now, what is standing between you and the realization of that dream? There are so many reasons and excuses we use for not pursuing our dreams. Sometimes it seems like we are sleepwalking through life and can’t seem to wake up and take control. We become stuck.
We like to pretend that the reason we aren’t living our dreams is due to something outside of ourselves. We make up a story about our lives and then live out that story. Strangely enough, the truth is that pursuing your really big dreams, the ones of your own choosing, requires the same amount of time, energy, and money as the story you have made up that keeps you stuck, becoming the consummate procrastinator and doing the same thing which takes you nowhere as you do it over and over again. Do you pursue what you want, or do you do what seems most comfortable? You are right now, living the life of your own choosing.
So, what tends to keep you stuck where you are? Why aren’t you living your dreams? My guess is there is something we are trained to honor more than our dreams. It’s called, “THE COMFORT ZONE”.
The comfort zone is where you live when you continue to make the same decisions over and over again, always getting the same results and then wondering why you are stuck. We may not like the results, and even know we could do more, but we would rather feel comfortable than contemplate a new action that might make us feel afraid because we don’t know what the outcome will be. So it should be no surprise that in choosing to do something new we may feel out of our element. When we feel uncomfortable enough, long enough, we tend to feel discouraged So, we return to our thoughts, feelings, and actions that are more familiar, more practiced and more predictable regardless of whether they’re helpful.
Living in the comfort zone is dangerous and tricky for those of us with dreams because it is one of the places we know ourselves intimately and we become very good at fooling ourselves. We wouldn’t dare dream of using an excuse we could see through, or a reason we’d find unreasonable, or a rationale we’d find irrational. To justify staying in our comfort zone we take our greatest aspirations and find excuses by lying to ourselves and often blaming something or someone else for being stuck. It’s more comfortable that way.
Am I pushing some buttons now? Is your comfort zone being threatened by the words I am saying?
You know what I mean. We’ve all used these kinds of thoughts and excuses. No one is perfect. But don’t allow your comfort zone to dictate your actions by becoming static. Every time you hear yourself use one of these words – try, could, should, would – whether it is just in your head or out loud, stop. Rephrase your thought using a bold new inspirational word, something challenging. By doing this you will have a better chance of getting what you want out of life. Even Yoda said there is no try, only do.
Expanding your comfort zone is work. It’s a choice and a process. It needs to be worked at all the time. It’s about feeling the fear and doing it anyway. It’s about being willing to take a risk, embrace failure and learn from the outcome. Remember everyone learns by doing. You can read about or study something forever, but until you take action and put it all on the line it is hearsay. There is only one way to get good at something, it’s called practice, which translates to failure, feedback, experience, – failure, feedback, experience, etc. There is no one right way.
So I ask you this hard question, “Do you pursue what you want, or do you do what’s comfortable?” I understand that feeling uncomfortable is not a happy place to be, but is it a sufficient reason for not doing something you’ve dreamed of? Remember – all that energy that makes up your comfort zone is yours! You get to make the choice about how you do what you do. You’re not alone in this battle, we all struggle with it throughout our lives. The choice is always yours as to how you want to deal with it.
Avanti until next time.
