By Carol Kirkpatrick, author of ARIA READY, The Business of Singing
“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down, ‘happy.’ They told me I didn’t understand the assignment. And I told them they didn’t understand life. John Lennon
Tim Wrightman, a former All-American UCLA football player, tells a story about how, as a rookie lineman in the National Football League, he was up against the legendary pass rusher Lawrence Taylor. Taylor was not only physically powerful and uncommonly quick, but a master at verbal intimidation. Looking Tim in the eye, Taylor said, “Sonny, get ready. I’m going left and there’s nothing you can do about it. Wrightman coolly responded, “Sir, is that your left or mine?” The question froze Taylor long enough to allow Wrightman to throw a perfect block on him.
It’s amazing what we can accomplish if we refuse to be afraid. Fear — whether it’s of pain, failure, rejection or even success, is a toxic emotion that creates monsters in our mind that consume self-confidence and intimidate us from doing our best or sometimes even trying at all. Failure isn’t about missing the high note or having to start a piece over. Failure is never even trying in the first place. Everyone fails and makes mistakes. This is how we learn most important things. You have to stop beating yourself up, look for the lesson therein, and apply that lesson to the future. And it seems to me that if you just stuck to having a plan and doing what comes next in the progression of gaining your small everyday goals, there is no room to worry about what you are afraid of because you are sticking to the here and now. Most times, when we start feeling afraid, it’s of something that either happened in the past or something that hasn’t happened yet in the future. Most times, if you can have the courage to challenge whatever it is you are afraid of, you realize that it’s really just the boogie man, and not that big of a deal.
Remember, practice makes permanent, not perfect, so have the audacity to step up your chutzpah, feel the fear and do it anyway. And this brings me to another relevant quote:
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Thomas Edison
Now go get um!!! Ciao until next time. Carol
Email Carol at Carol@ariaready.net.
Since retiring from the stage, Carol Kirkpatrick continues to be in demand as a voice teacher, clinician, and adjudicator of competitions including the Metropolitan Opera National Council Auditions. Combining her knowledge of performance, business, and interpersonal skills, she has written the second edition of her highly regarded book, Aria Ready: The Business of Singing, a step-by-step career guide for singers and teachers of singing. Aria Ready has been used by universities, music conservatories and summer and apprentice programs throughout the world as a curriculum for teaching Ms. Kirkpatrick’s process of career development, making her “the” expert in this area. She lives in Denver, Colorado.
