If you can’t go around it, over it, or through it, you had better negotiate with it. ~ Ashleigh Brilliant
What is negotiation? It is the activity of getting people to help you reach your goals. Or at the very least to stay out of your way as you move forward in life.
Why is negotiation a skill you need? Life is a process of growing and changing. There are new patterns, routines, people and places continuing to come into your life that create change. Sometimes you make the change and welcome it and then there are other times when someone else creates changes that aren’t to your liking. So to get to where you want to go, you will have to negotiate. The elements of any negotiation are power, time and information. The three things you need to understand about negotiation are, it involves risk, it’s about give and take, and you need to know what the total impact of this action will be for all concerned.
Successful negotiation starts in your mind. It starts by knowing your have the power to create the results you want. Power is a matter of perception – it’s a mind game. If you think you have it, you have it. If you don’t think you have it, you don’t have it. You can never keep score. In other words, you can’t think of it as your turn to have it your way. And before you can actually start the process of negotiation, you must first be very clear what you would like the outcome to be. You can negotiate anything from fees for a gig, to changing a behavior in yourself or someone else. If it’s a behavioral change you are looking for, you might want to have it start immediately. If it’s a task or finalization of a contract, you need make it clear to the other person when it needs to be completed. As I stated previously, the process of negotiation is about give and take, so be flexible but firm. In other words, don’t leave the question of “time” open ended by either party. And very important in any negotiation – put your focus on the results, not on the form it takes. If you have a certain way you want something to happen already set in your mind, and the other person offers a solution that you both agree on, but because it doesn’t happen to follow the form you had in mind, you turn it down, you lose out. Flexibility and curiosity may have killed the cat, but they are two very worthwhile commodities in life.
Know that each negotiation stands on its own and the best negotiation is one where both sides feel satisfied with the results. You don’t have to always agree with the other side or even like them and vice versa to get to an established outcome. And the very best part is that when you find out what results the other side really wants and then show them how to have those results, often you will also get what you want. Now you know what I think, I’d like to know what you think about negotiation.
Ciao, Carol
